Really? Again?

April 15, 2012; 1600

Hey Gang!

Welcome to my life…

Where anything is possible and nothing is as it seems. I’m Freedom and I’ll be your host, coming at you from within…

The Depths of Geistopiaaaaaaaaaa

Velcum to my Life ees a prochect, un experiment een Life unt ART, A liwing storyboard, if you vill. Eet’s premise ees zat you can, and do, experience za life you choose. Eet ees based on za Veel of Life unt za ARTs for za New Millennium as life building tools. Ya. Eet’s true.

Welcome to my Life is an ITV Studios/Geist…House production. JustUs Productions, the parent company, would like to give a ‘Shout-Out’ to the following for their ongoing, and oft times unknowing, inspiration and support:

Princess Cuddlebug

Princess Sunshine

Craze & Co.

The Shaman

The Pillar

The Entire Putt-Putt-Putter Clan

FaeriePrincess

G-Man

Berton

The Baker of the Cornbread

The VanMan (may he R.I.P.)

The Messengers of the Galactic Federation

Osteen, the Son

The Sitter

The WhiteRose

The Fallen Angel

Punky Brewster

Sir Thomas

Jojo Dancer

Mr. NiceGuy

Senior Swankypants

Da Boyz from da Hood

The Witch Dr.

The ‘Original’ Mr. Baggins (and His Wife)

The Socialite

B-Lo

The WhiteGurl

“Ronnie’s Boy”

CH-Eckhart

LisaLisa Monet

The Ziatonic Antagonist

Otto

Prof. Siggy Chong

Pasturizer

The Piz-Nifer

Dancing Queen

Downtown Donny Brown

Mama Rabbit

And, of course, a very generous sponsor who pretends to want to be anonymous.

(*Semi-Legal mumbo-jumbo jargon fine print – my thoughts, my words. Bug off if you think you theivin’ them.*)

It is Sunday, April 15, 2012. Time….Slip Slidin’ Away!

It has been three weeks since my last post. I am not happy that it has been a 2-3 week span between posts, but sometimes life is as life is. It has been an active, energetic and, yes, even productive. At times, though, I wasn’t exactly certain how I would get through each week.

And then, ‘The Phenomenon’ kicked in.

Actually it had kicked in three weeks ago, as I had mentioned, but I didn’t get to tell all of the little stories that went along with it.

I have been watching interesting shifts around Geistopia. Something is going to pop soon…and I’m hoping it’s the good kind of ‘POP’ this time around.

There have been developments in the upcoming quest.

I didn’t win The $640M MegaMillions jackpot.

Easter and Ostara have come and gone.

This time ‘The Pil-Man’ came to me.

‘Phe-nom-e-non’

(Go ahead. Sound it out – in a sing-songy kinda way. Who knows where I was going with that?)

This is both the Theme of the Week and a ‘section’ title.

I was very happy to stumble upon ‘The Phenomenon’ last week. I think it is a word we can all accept and understand – no matter what each of us may believe. Because no matter what we may believe, we each believe something.

Some of us believe that Adonai created the Universe as we know it.

Some of us even believe that he gave his only son to cleanse us of our sins.

Some believe that, in fact, it was Brahman who dreamed reality into existence.

Some believe it was Allah.

Some the Goddess and her Consort.

There are even some who believe in things much older than any of these.

And, there are some who believe in things like Science.

Or, Randomness, Chance and Happenstance.

But, no matter what each of us believes, we all believe something.

I think it is fair to say that no matter what one may believe the inclination is to LIVE that belief. We do have a tendency to base our decisions, structure our lives, on the Principles of our individual belief systems. NO MATTER WHAT THEY ARE.

We all do this.

This is the first thing that every belief system…every believer has in common.

(Actually…the 2nd. The first is the fact that we all believe something.)

And, no matter what each of us believes, we all believe it works. We all believe that it does what it does. Some of us believe that it is all very random – what happens happens. Sometimes it’s good. Sometimes it’s bad.

Some of us believe in Magick and the ability to “bend” reality.

Some of us believe in the Divine hand of God (Whatever his name may be.)

And, no matter what we believe, I think it is fair to say that at the end of the day it seems to be working for us.

A good example of this is a couple that I had chatted with this past weekend. We were talking about this very thing – ‘The Phenomenon’ – the way things always seem to happen right on time and with plenty of reason.

They shared with me that a couple of weeks ago she had had an accident with the car. It was going to take a good deal of work and be quite the garage bill. Though I think they only had the deductible to cover. Nonetheless, they said they had spent the past several weeks, wondering – almost worrying – about how they would get through the month with this extra expense.

Then, on the day they were to pick up the car from the shop, they received in the mail a refund check from their mortgage company. Something that was completely unexpected.

Now, whether that is the hand of some divine being or another or just merely happenstance, there is no denying that it was working for them.

And it doesn’t always have to be such a large ‘working’ either. It can be a rather small one and sometimes it can be misleading. Sometimes it begins as something that is difficult or challenging or irritating or worrisome.

About 3 weeks ago I went online and checked my bank balance. I noticed that there was a charge from Blockbuster on my account. I couldn’t understand this at all. I had put my online subscription on hold for a month so that shouldn’t have been charged. And, though it looked about the same amount, it shouldn’t have been the KidsPass either.

I called Blockbuster’s 800 number and they told me it was a charge from the store, not them. They also informed me that if it was indeed an error it would take 3-5 business days to be redeposited in my account.

Why is that? How is that they can take it in a New York minute, but when it comes to giving it back it’s like trying to get gold out of Fort Knox.

(Not that there’s actually gold in Fort Knox. LMAO)

Ok. So I go to the store and the manager is working. Now you have to understand that everyone who is anyone in that store knows me. Mostly because of the girls, but they know me. We have a good rapport. In fact, when I walked in that day I announced that I was finally going to be “a pain in the ass customer.”

We both laughed.

It turns out that one of the movies the girls had out had not actually gone towards the KidsPass and I was being charged for it being overdue. So I agreed to return it the next morning and he refunded the money.

When the girls and I returned the movie and were being rung out for the next one – which did go on the KidsPass – I noticed a credit on my account. Not only had the manager refunded the money, he had credited me the same amount.

For two weeks, every time I took the girls to the store I thought of spending that money. Why not? It was there. Then I would talk myself out of it.

“No time to really watch it tonight.”

“Nothing here I really wanna watch/play.”

“Eh….”

Soon it would come time to renew the KidsPass. As the due date encroached I realized that I really didn’t have the extra money this month. I told the girls that I was going to cancel it and start it up again as soon as I could.

Then one morning it struck me. I had a credit on my account. A credit that, in fact, was two cents more than what I needed. I rushed to the store and asked if they could use the credit. The only way to do this would be to cancel and then renew. As we walked through this process we discovered that the next day was my original renewal date. In other words, I came in at just the last moment.

At the end of it all, I kept the KidsPass seemingly gapless. We were in the next two days renting movies.

Now, I don’t need that to be the hand of God. I don’t.

I can accept that it is possible that it was all just totally random. But when I acknowledge that and then look at all of the random variables that factor into the story ending exactly that way – God or Randomness…that’s pretty fuckin Divine to me.

And, so I say again, we all believe in something. We all believe that something works – generally for us. And, no matter what we believe or how much we ‘know’ about it, it always remains a tad unfathomable.

With so many common denominators I can not understand why there is so much fuss and disagreement. The only thing I see that stands in our way of understanding and accepting each other’s views is what to call this force that works throughout our lives.

I have many times in this blog referred to it as ‘God.’ I have just as many times placed the disclaimer that it could just as well be The Goddess, Allah, Brahman, Great Spirit, The Universe, or just plain and simple chance.

But this left me in a jam. To use on of these ‘names’ and not another seemed to risk offending someone, or putting them off. Yet, to use one and then have to list all the others…well…quite frankly….it pissed me off.

So I took to using ‘T.O.T.S.’ – The One True Spirit. And, though I giggled often as I wrote ‘T.O.T.S’ it just wasn’t right. It was cute. Titillating even. But it just wasn’t right.

Then along came ‘The Phenomenon.’ Could there be a better word to bring us all together? After all, if that happened it would be a Phenomenon.

Go West, Young Man!!

This next Quest is becoming more and more fascinating by the moment. What began as a simple trip to San Diego – because she had called – is turning out to be quite an interesting adventure.

For instance, a friend recently returned from Seattle. I couldn’t listen to stories because I knew what would happen..

(And yet…it happened anyway.)

I thought about it for a little while. I’ve always wanted to go to Seattle as well. I am going to be over that way and it took me this long to get there the first time. I was planning on going across the northern part of the country anyway. Hmmm….

And so it was decided. I might as well take a quick spin through Seattle along the way.

I should have never accepted this addition to the itinerary, because that seemed to open the flood gates of possibility.

A few days later I was thinking about the path of the trip and a thought struck me. I have a friend who visits this little, out of the way town about 2-3 times a year. I figured my course would run me close enough to it and I was right. So, I thought mayhaps I would zip through and see just what is so fascinating there. While I was zooming in on Google Maps I noticed a little Inn/Tavern in a neighboring town. I will not disclose the name at this point, but suffice it to say the name alone warranted a bit more investigation. Turns out there are quite a few interesting facts revolving around this little known place and I may have to stay there an evening.

Then it began to happen more. As long as I am making the drive anyway there are several places I should stop – Mt. Rushmore, Yellowstone Park…

Maybe you’ll see Yogi…

That’s Jellystone Park. Also, Devils Tower. And, on the way back,, I think I will pass through Flagstaff once more. From there, it is a bit hazy.

It has unfolded naturally before me. Once I accepted the Quest it just sort of formed itself, and I don’t think it is quite finished. In fact, as I look at it, it seems as though it is the quest I left to take in 1998.

I have absolutely no clue how or when I pull this off. I only know I must do it. I have been meditating on ways to pull it off and spend less money overall then I have on previous ventures. I have also been plotting ways to work along the way – like real, legitimate work like I do at home.

I have also been asked to put it out there to you all that I am looking for potential hook-ups along the way….

Whoa….Family show man….

Not those kinds of hook-ups…though I wouldn’t turn those down. No. What I mean is, if anyone knows anyone who might be willing to help a brother out along the way it would be most appreciated if you could hook it up. By ‘help a brother out’ I mean things like a little guidance in a strange town, perhaps a sandwich or a shower. mayhaps even a couch if one is so generous. Even if its just a place to stop and touch base with reality just for a moment amidst this craziness.

Also…I think I need to make more out of this than just another quest. With all of the tools available to me I think I need to really do a play by play WTML coverage of the experience. So I think it needs a title…a name.

Something perhaps along the lines of “Freedom’s All-American Re-Discovery Tour.”

Thoughts?

Oh, Easter….Ahhhh

The Wheel of the Year turns and again we find a Holi-Day season has befallen upon us. It is the time of newness, rebirth, fertility….Spring has Sprung :-P

http://paganwiccan.about.com/od/ostarathespringequinox/p/Ostara_History.htm

Baby Mama Drama – The Interim

Things are quiet on this front…at least for now.

(Let’s see how long that lasts…)

Geistopian Galumph

Something is brewing here in Geistopia and I’m not sure what it is. But it is powerful.

For the past several weeks I have been watching some very interesting shifts take place. For instance, I have become very motivated. This is not to say that I was lazy prior. It’s just a very different kind of motivation. No mater what I do I can’t seem to slow down or stop. I have the most intense To-Do list and every day it changes rapidly and often.

I have been watching things take form and find their place. I have managed accomplishment and seem well on my way to a state of balance that I have not known in quite some time.

And, it is across the board in all areas and on all levels.

Tis not just me either. Whatever ‘Spirit’ has taken over is moving the whole of Geistopia. I am watching all sorts of things coming to pass – work being done that has needed to be done for way too long. In fact, much of it is work that I have personally offered to do many times over the years, only to be adamantly and vehemently denied time and time again.

To get into the details and the projects would be petty, not to mention counterproductive, at this point. Just suffice it to say that things are finally taking a very interesting shape. However, this was an eye-opener for me. I have literally been sitting here wasting away for a very long time. I have felt stuck – knowing what needs to be done but unable to do it., and unsure of what to do instead. This is unacceptable, but more on this later.

I think watching it happen for me has been the most intriguing part of it all. And, I think that is due to the fact that it has been such a massive shift. Everything has been so chaotic around me for such a very long time.

I have had “stuff” piled up here and there. Things stored. Projects to get done. Miscellany.

I have had “stuff” piled up inside. Some of which I was totally unawares.

I have had so many major life shifts in such a very short period of time. Not to mention the major shifts that led to the aforementioned. The trail is so long now, each moment bringing it’s own intensified twist.

It all starts with ‘Annie,’ though, at the time, I would have told you that was where it had all ended. I took a big chance with that show – for too many reasons to list here. It was what it was. But in the end, it left me with nothing. I had lost my shirt….and then some. I found myself with no job, no car, no money, no anything…except a pile of left over debris and set pieces.

Even my hopes, dreams and aspirations at the time had deflated and dissipated.

That was late 2003.

By April 2004 Mama had entered my life.

Come September we were living together and expecting Makayla.

(Or conceiving anyway.)

In April 2005 we were moving back to Geistopia.

In that same amount of time I was jobless, then partially employed, then unemployed, then anxiously awaiting the completion of my new work place…and finally gainfully employed.

The next 2 years were a brief period of stability in ‘My Life’ as things started to take form – structure and such, plans were made and the family grew. It was like any other, and every other life. There were challenges and accomplishments, hopes and disappointments

But I had paid a hefty price for this budding ‘American Dream.’ I had given up so much of myself along the way. Slowly and subtly, almost systematically, everything that had made me me was stripped and swept away.

I mean, there were fragments strewn about, but the really important stuff was gone. Unfortunately, I did not realize this until it was all long over.

Then in 2007, it started all over again. Before the year was over I found myself unemployed, then re-employed once more. I must say that this new job brought with it the hope and promise of brighter futures.

However, that would be short lived and in June of 2008 I would find myself unemployed once more. It is here we mark the birth of JustUs Productions – the video company. Somehow through the course of the year I had managed to prepare myself for this. Much to the dislike and contempt of Mama.

I jumped on the first project that I could and before long it was sustainable. It was replacing the income I had lost. Then it began fluctuating. It was definitely rough, but it was working – in its own way. And, all the while, I am seeking new employment, but nothing is taking hold.

Then in October…

(It always happens in October.)

In October is when Mama left…the first time.

This was a horrible period, but not worth getting into at the moment.

In November she would leave the second time, taking with her the girls and most of our worldly possessions. And, since I was unemployed, she took the money.

It is here all of the fun really begins. Before Christmas I would be served both a PFA – for calling her a “whore” – and a ?summons? for the custody case. She wanted full custody. These were 2 battles , though I technically lost, I escaped seemingly unscathed.

The PFA was six months, “Just in case.” And, that is exactly what they must do….just in case. My understanding is that in PA, once it hits the courts that is the minimum they must give. Welcome to the wonderful world of C.Y.A., folks.

And, she didn’t get full custody, and though things changed drastically for me and the girls we don’t have it so bad.

Now I am not exactly certain how I survived from December through June without any income. But, I did. In June 2009 things would start to swing upward. I had found some full-time work in the minimum wage industry and the carnival season would be starting soon and that meant…$ALE$.

By the end of July I was starting to turn things around. I had money coming in and I was of starting to straighten out some of the financial messes that had been created along the way. I was even working more I.C. work in addition to the video and full time work. I was entertaining 3 potential new video clients. And, then, one day…..BAM! It happened – the blowout of all blowouts. The one that would have me spending time in prison.

When I was released near the end of October 2009…

(What did I tell you?)

…I came out to a life I didn’t know. I was unemployed and awaiting two jobs to start up. I was living in and out of motel rooms and seeing my daughters at my parents on weekends. While I was waiting on the jobs to start up – each with its own lengthy delay – I managed to pick up work here and there…a wedding, some video, some I.C., some miscellaneous. But, eventually, the money would run out and I would find myself scrambling for a plan.

Through the aid of my family I found myself in an apartment. One that I would not be able to afford. In the end, I would lose the apartment and both jobs all within 2 months of each other.

I would spend the better part of the summer living out of my van and working out of the shed at my parents. Only “living” in the house on weekends with the girls. My stuff becoming both more compartmentalized and widely scattered as I tried to keep the important stuff close and the rest stashed away from everyone.

Again, no steady work developed but I was holding it all together and keeping it afloat by taking odd jobs, flea markets, I.C. work and some videos. I had even gotten back into the Tarot racket. A part-time job would manifest, but be short lived. And, so, the roller coaster ride would continue and I would manage to scrape through until….when else? October.

In October of 2010 everything would shut down once more. I had no job, the miscellaneous work had come to an end for the season and suddenly, about Thanksgiving, the computer stopped working and I found myself with no means of finding work.

It wasn’t until about Feb., 2011 that things would start to turn around. And, all the while, I am trying to maneuver my way through piles of stuff, and trying to fit the girls’ stuff in and about. I would battle things like depression and frustration and confusion. But, I would always make it…just by the skin of my teeth.

Piles and piles and piles everywhere. It seemed hopeless and endless.

And, then, suddenly, one day it would all start to snap into place – naturally and of its own accord. And, it’s not just the physical stuff that is finding its home. The whole of my life appears to becoming more settled, more organized. There is a greater flow and I am finding more balance daily. My mind is clearing. My emotions are settling. And, though there is still a Great Mystery about it, life is much clearer.

One Person At A Time

This Observation came during the time of the really big MegaMillions jackpot. To be perfectly honest, it is actually part of a Principal revisited.

Changing the World One Person at a Time

Long, long ago this was my favorite response to everything. People would ask me what I do – as in work – and I would say, “I change the world. One person at a time.”

So, here I am, many years later all but miserable in my existence – barring the obvious thrills and delights. Yet, I continue to dope along…because there is really very little else to do. I am confused and concerned and frustrated. Then one morning I wake up and there’s this potential for great change.

Of course I bought a ticket. Who didn’t? Who wouldn’t? I mean, how can you resist that kind of opportunity? Damn straight I’d buy that for a dollar.

But once the ticket is in hand a delightful phenomenon takes place. The mind wanders. It creates and dreams. Ahhhh…what if,,,,?

What would you do? How would it all change? How will you live now?

And as my mind turned over these delicious and delectable ponderments a thought struck me.

(Change the world…One person at a time…)

That’s it! That’s it exactly. That is precisely what I would do. But how?

The mind sets to whirling again and so many wonderful ways began to tease my inner vision.

Alas, I was not to win. But, perhaps I won something greater. For that thought stayed with me. After all, do I need $640M in order to change the world? I didn’t seem to think so all those years ago. But how do you go about such a task?

It sounds so difficult, almost impossible, at first thought. Change the world? Really? As if…

But that is the BIG picture. That is the end result. That is why it seems so vast and impassable.

It is the destination, but it is the path you will travel on your way that will make it all work. We change our lives one step at a time. Slowly. Patiently. Initiating little changes here and there as they fit and work. Why would changing the world be any different? It doesn’t take mass amounts of money. In fact, it takes no money at all.

Each person is but a step on our road to change. We face each one as new and fresh as the last. We put our best foot forward. A friendly smile. An encouraging word. A moment of hope. A friend in need. Or, a stranger for that matter.

All we need do is do it.

And, as I contemplated all of this and how life would change even without being disgustingly and filthy rich, I remembered the best way to do this…

To Thine Own Self Be true

It’s really just that simple. We always have to do what is right for us as individuals. And, in doing that, we will always be doing the best for all of those around us.

I think we get lost in this sometimes because we think that helping people or changing the world requires us to be some sort of martyr – constantly sacrificing for the good of the whole. Though this is a noble thought it is not necessarily an accurate one. We must do what we can. Sometimes we just can’t. Other times we may not want to. But in the end only one question will need to be answered. When you did what did or did not…were you being the person you choose to be?

If you can answer yes to this question at all times then you have mastered it and you will see the world around you change. There is but one catch though…

Do as thou wilt IS the whole of the law….

Will through Love.

Feedback

Feedback has always been my favorite part of WTML, and also, the one I get to play with the least. I have long said that this is actually the most vital part of the project and have strongly encouraged folks to leave comments.

From here in Geistopia, for now and for always, I am your beloved Rev. wishing you…

Love

Light

Peace

and Freakishness.