Not Creative Enough For A Name

Hey Gang!

Welcome to my life…

Where anything is possible and nothing is as it seems. I’m Freedom and I’ll be your host, coming at you from within…

The Depths of Geistopiaaaaaaaaaa

Velcum to my Life ees a prochect, un experiment een Life unt ART, A liwing storyboard, if you vill. Eet’s premise ees zat you can, and do, experience za life you choose. Eet ees based on za Veel of Life unt za ARTs for za New Millennium as life building tools. Ya. Eet’s true.

Welcome to my Life is an ITV Studios/Geist…House production. JustUs Productions, the parent company, would like to give a ‘Shout-Out’ to the following for their ongoing, and oft times unknowing, inspiration and support:

Princess Cuddlebug

Princess Sunshine

Craze & Co.

The Shaman

The Pillar

The Entire Putt-Putt-Putter Clan

FaeriePrincess

Berton

The Baker of the Cornbread

The VanMan (may he R.I.P.)

The Messengers of the Galactic Federation

Osteen, the Son

The Sitter

The WhiteRose

The Fallen Angel

CH-Eckhart

Sir Thomas

Jojo Dancer

Mr. NiceGuy

Senior Swankypants

Jethro

Da Boyz from da Hood

The Witch Dr.

The ‘Original’ Mr. Baggins (and His Wife)

The Socialite

B-Lo

The WhiteGurl

Roxie Heart

Mike the Bartender

The Chosen One

My Promoter and Her Pal

Prince Charming

Sir Patrick Wylde

The City of Hospitality

The Gang at Bean Creek

The Prophet

‘On Main’

Chicago Don

Mr. Indigo

The One Who Was Once ‘The Pan’

The Nervous, But Excited, One

Saint Diane

DreamCatcher

LisaLisa Monet

The Ziatonic Antagonist

Otto

Prof. Siggy Chong

Pasturizer

The Piz-Nifer

Dancing Queen

Downtown Donny Brown

Mama Rabbit

And, of course, a very generous sponsor who pretends to want to be anonymous.

(There are a few of you I just don’t have nicknames for as of yet. Soon. Very soon.)

(*Semi-Legal mumbo-jumbo jargon fine print – my thoughts, my words. Bug off if you think you theivin’ them.*)

It is Sunday, September 16, 2012. Time….Delightful.

It was a very interesting week.

(But, then…isn’t it always?)

I’m still wrestling with putting into practice that which I picked up along the Quest. It not only was a lot to process, but there is so much to apply. Applying what you pick up on a Spiritual Quest, separate from your everyday life, can pose more challenges than one might think initially. It is very easy to get sucked right back in to the stresses and worries and doubts and conflicts that you left behind in the first place.

But, before I continue, I think with all of the new additions to the list above, it may be a good time to re-explain the list.

As it says, the list is a ‘Shout-Out’ to all of those who have inspired or supported me in some way shape or form. Some do so on a long-term consistent basis. Some are but a moment in time. But, it is a moment that will live on forever, constantly feeding the beast that is “My Life.”

Some of you listed may know who you are and even what it is you do. Some of you may not. That’s ok. I do. *wink, wink*

Also, since I find myself confused very often on the matter, it may be good to remind you of the time frame with which you are dealing. I start writing on a Sunday and post somewhere between Sunday and Wednesday. The writing is always about the previous week – Monday through Sunday. So, as you are reading, “This Week” actually refers to last week and “Next Week” will always be a reference to this week.

Got it? Good.

Now, on with the show….

As the week began, I found myself almost completely broke. I knew this would happen and I had planned accordingly. I didn’t schedule myself any work for the week because I knew I wouldn’t be able to drive around and do it. I had even informed Mama that I most likely wouldn’t be able to take the girls for dinner on Tuesday night that Thursday would work better and even that wasn’t a definite.

And, this is where the first conflict comes in.

(But more on that later…)

Now, I had picked up a video project along the way. I knew the money would come before the end of the week, I just didn’t know exactly how it would play out. By the time Monday had begun, I had picked up three I.C. jobs that I could do from home and would cost me nothing. Now, they didn’t take care of my need for some cash in hand, but they set me up for a lil bit more flow in a few weeks.

Monday night, my video client had stopped by to meet and go over preliminary what-nots. He advanced me $40. Now, I could have had the girls Tuesday for dinner, but as you will learn later, it was already too late for that. So, I moved onward into my week. The video project was due by Thursday night which is when I would receive the rest of the money.

The $40 I was advanced allowed me to get gas in The Dreamcatcher and pick up a couple of jobs which will pay next Friday. I also managed to schedule a job or two for that Friday, which will add to the same pay cycle.

Wednesday was good night at Lee Gribbens on Main’s Martini/Manicure night. And, by Thursday the project was finished and I was paid. The weekend, though slightly challenging, was easy enough to get through.

Along the way some ‘expenses’ had arisen. All were in the future and not worth worrying about, but at least deserved some consideration. The girls each showed up with fundraisers for school, Blockbuster reinstated my online subscription – which I had forgotten about. There are dinner considerations for the week and my car insurance became due for the 2nd time this month.

That’s what I said – the 2nd time.

You see, the first time it was due I had no money at all. There was nothing I could really do about it. I stressed and worried for a few days, but constant prayer and meditation kept bringing the same answer – don’t worry about it. Let it go. Pay it later.

Now, this is not a chance I would encourage anyone else to take but it was good enough for me. So that is what I did. It turns out that they extended my payment and by the end of next week it will be paid.

Makalu's fundraiser isn’t due for a couple more weeks and Nyssa’s is due on Wednesday. I asked Mama to send it back with the girls on Tuesday and we will see what develops until then. As for Blockbuster…well I will just ride that one until a decision needs to be made.

Little by little, each day, I see increase. A lil more work, a lil more money, a lil more time, a lil more flow.

And, sadly, a lil more conflict.

First, there is Mama. I don’t know if this nonsense will ever end.

As I said earlier, I had let her know that a Tuesday dinner may not work. By Monday morning she was calling me, asking if I was taking the girls for dinner on Tuesday. I responded that I would say no only because I wasn’t exactly sure yet how things would play out. So, then, onto Tuesday. Now, I didn’t think anything really happened on Tuesday, but in light of what is to come, I look back on Tuesday and say, “Hmmmm?”

On Tuesday I had to text her three times to get some sort of positive indication of whether or not Makayla was going to dance class so that I could go. Later on Tuesday I get a text saying that Mama had sent the fundraising stuff home with my sister for my mother. Now, this was the first I had heard of fundraisers or pictures for the year. Yet, my mother was going to get them.

I let her know that that was fine but that in the future I think that stuff should e handled through me (…bad wording…) not my mother. I was quickly told that it wasn’t in regards to me that it was done so my mother could look things over before her trip.

(Fair enough…)

“Y is that a problem?”

Hmmm…well…now that you ask…

“I just think that if my daughter has pictures or fundraising I should be informed and allowed to participate, not just be left off to the side. If you need to get that stuff to my mother I feel it should come through me as their father. Y is that a problem?”

I went on to explain that I didn’t think I was asking for anything unwarranted. But, that every time there is a fundraiser or pictures, my mother seems to get informed and I do not. I would like the chance to participate as well. Then I thanked her for her cooperation…and blessed her.

On Wednesday night I get a text asking if I intended to have the girls Thursday for dinner. I said that I did. So, now I get a text saying that it would be nice to be told sooner than the night before.

Now, She’s right about this. And, yet, oh so wrong. I explained that I could do better but we were just looking at it differently. . She expected that if I was going to have them that I would let her know, whereas I had it in my head that if I wasn’t I would let her know.

On Thursday, I get informed that a lil after Noon that Makayla had been sent home from school sick and that if she wasn’t feeling better later that Mama thought they should stay home.

I told her that I didn’t necessarily agree with her.

“She’s sick and the best thing for her right now is to rest.”

This is true, which is what I said next. However, she can rest just as easily here as at home. Now, I just feel it is her schedule to be here for dinner. It is her home anytime, but especially when she is scheduled to be here and I think they should come when they are scheduled no matter what. I just think that’s the way it should be and I do believe somewhere in the custody papers I read something to that affect.

I went on to say that I personally felt she should ask Makayla how she felt about it.

Now, this is another sore spot between Mama and I. Any time something like this comes up or switching dance classes or anything that directly affects the girls I always suggest she talk to them about it and see how they feel. Because, that’s what I would do. She, on the other hand, feels that we are the parents, the adults, and that we don’t need to consult them.

“Is it too much to ask for u to think of her well being?”

Now…who said I wasn’t?

And on it goes. I get all technical on her, mentioning that there is more to “well-being” than just physical. That mental/emotional/spiritual are factors as well. And, I went on mentioning that since we were making a decision that affected her mental/emotional/spiritual that I thought Makayla should at least have a voice, be able to express herself. I said that even if “we” make the decision for her to stay home is it so bad to at least ask her. I also said that before a decision was made I’d like to Makayla.

This, as well, caught me some crap.

“I haven’t made a decision…”

I didn’t say that you did! I said, “before one is made, I’d like to talk to her.” This way I could gauge for myself. Well, I did talk to her and she didn’t sound well, but she insisted she wanted to come. Mama took her temperature again and it was 99.5. I told her I thought that was a lil high and that she should stay home and rest so she was better for a busy weekend. Mama, too, said she thought it was too high. However, when I called to say good night, Makayla told me she had just come in from playing outside – which was something I had already told her she wouldn’t be doing if she came here.

I couldn’t believe it . After all that crap I received about “caring for her well-being” because I wanted her to make the car ride here…and now she was playing outside??

I was a lil miffed and I let it be known. I also told her that in the future, if they were scheduled to be here then they would be here – sick or not. This, of course, did not go over well. First, apparently she did nothing wrong and, second, I would not be telling her how things would be going in the future.

Yet, she was perfectly content to tell me how they were to go that night.

The hours ticked on and I couldn’t get past how miffed I was. I engaged in something that I had been trying to put off a few more weeks. I sent her a very lengthy text telling her that I really think it is time that we sit down, face to face, and figure out how we are going to work together moving forward because what we have been doing doesn’t really work for anyone. I told her that I think our biggest problems are communication and understanding. I also told her that I would leave it to her to tell me when and how we could do this.

I have yet to hear from her.

(Nor do I expect to.)

And on the conflict front there was also some interestingness with my sister on Friday night. After I finished cleaning up from our dinner, I showed the girls my latest video project. I had grabbed the wrong TV remote and, though it adjust the volume, the mute button is non-functional. So, I turned the volume all the way down. When that was done everyone went running this way and that and I had gotten pulled away from the kitchen where we had been. When I came back in my sister was trying to get the volume to work. She had both remotes in her hands and was saying something about the mute. Apparently, she and my father were getting ready to eat their own dinner.

Anyway, I walked over and took the one remote saying, “it’s not muted I had turned the volume down.”

She immediately snatched the remote from my hand in a huff. And, to prove I am not exaggerating, I had a witness – Princess Sunshine was there. As I walked away she looked right at me and asked, “Why did she grab the remote from you like that?” I told her I didn’t know and she would have to ask my sister. Which she did. I walked away again and when I returned I heard her say, “He was only trying to help you.”

I smiled as I passed, patted her on the head, and said, “You are such an astute little child.”

I’m sure none of that went over well.

But, I am just as sure there will be more on my sister in the future.

Get Through Tomorrow

It’s that simple really. When you have doubt. When you have worry or fear or troubles, just remember, “Get Through Tomorrow.” That’s all you gotta do. If you have what you need, if you know you can do what you need to do tomorrow then there is no need to jump beyond that, for tomorrow could change everything.

What You Need When You Need It

This is the promise.

This is the natural law of the Universe. If you keep your mind clear, you will find that no matter what it is – you ALWAYS have what you need EXACTLY when you need it.

It may not always come when you want it, nor in the way you may think it should, but it will always come. And, just in time.

(Always at the last moment…)

There’s another side to this, though. One, I think, we often forget or perhaps just don’t realize.

If it is coming to you now, then it is yours. So often we are working in a direction, planning and hoping and dreaming, and something that seems right on track will come our way and…we will dismiss it,

“I’m not ready”

“I can’t do that.”

“I’m not good enough”

“Not enough money/time.”

“That can’t be for me.”

“It’s just TOO good to be true.”

But, you always have what you need when you need it. If it is in line with where you see yourself going then it is meant for you. So often we let doubt interfere with the natural flow of life. If it comes – take it, run with it, do it.

Celebrate

I enjoyed having this observation this week, what with Rosh Hashanah and all.

Celebrate.

Celebrate life.

Celebrate what you have and what you can do.

Celebrate what you do not…and what you can’t.

Celebrate everything.

And, celebrate always. Life is not perfect. It was never meant to be. But, it is good – even with it’s setbacks and challenges and problems. Life is Good. This could have even been a Theme or an Observation for this week. Life is Good. And, if it is good…celebrate it.

This is the best way to tell the Universe that you are ready for more. That you understand the blessings of your life.

It is also the best way to keep yourself open and for things to flow. If you celebrate you are happy and fluid. This will only attract more goodness into your life.

Feedback

Feedback has always been my favorite part of WTML, and also, the one I get to play with the least. I have long said that this is actually the most vital part of the project and have strongly encouraged folks to leave comments, questions and the like.

Saint Diane – “I am so glad u made it thru this Journey and do hope that u make a cd or DVD of it I would love to see and hear and read all of what u experience...I also think it could motivate a lot of people who think one can not survive with what they are given in this life...”

-- Thank you, as always, for your kind words and support. Several people have expressed interest in a DVD. It is something that I am currently toying with, but that could also be more complex than it sounds at first. But, rest assured, one way or another the story shall be told. If it will actually motivate somebody I can not say, but it will certainly give some people something to think about.

White Rose – “I really thought when you started this journey it was The Universe's way of showing you what life could be like for you if your parents died and you had no home. That is was time to change your life and I thought "40th Birthday" was the time to do it. That is what I thought it was initially. Why put yourself through all that in life. Time to change your life. And actually, I did not get a spiritual vibe about it at first but a reality vibe. A wake up call. However, this is interesting Matt to see what the Universe was trying to show you. I do hope you post videos and or write about it when you figure it out. I am always open to learning about the ways the Universe works in our life”

-- I am always fascinated by your insights and thoughts. Our perceptions and focuses are generally at complete opposites. [And, you are so…Taurian. LOL.] If your perception was correct [that it was to show me how life could be without a home] then I would have to say that it was not to scare me. It was more of an experience that showed me it could be done – and how to do it. Not everyone needs a ‘regular job’, or a home in order to thrive and survive. Or, even to be a viable part of society. If it were a call to change, based on what I experienced, I would say it was not to change my life, but instead to change how I am working with what I have before me now.

From here in Geistopia, for now and for always, I am your beloved Rev. wishing you…

Love

Light

Peace

and Freakishness.