What a Long Strange Trip It’s Been

That statement holds true for the past several months, as well as the past 15 years. The whole of my life

(Or is it ‘My Life?’)

………

Hey Gang!

Welcome to my life…

Where anything is possible and nothing is as it seems. I’m Freedom and I’ll be your host, coming at you from within…

The Depths of Geistopiaaaaaaaaaa

Velcum to my Life ees a prochect, un experiment een Life unt ART, A liwing storyboard, if you vill. Eet’s premise ees zat you can, and do, experience za life you choose. Eet ees based on za Veel of Life unt za ARTs for za New Millennium as life building tools. Ya. Eet’s true.

Welcome to my Life is an ITV Studios/Geist…House production. JustUs Productions, the parent company, would like to give a ‘Shout-Out’ to the following for their ongoing, and oft times unknowing, inspiration and support:

Princess Cuddlebug

Princess Sunshine

Craze & Co.

The Shaman

The Pillar

The Entire Putt-Putt-Putter Clan

FaeriePrincess

G-Man

Berton

The Baker of the Cornbread

The VanMan (may he R.I.P.)

The Messengers of the Galactic Federation

Osteen, the Son

The WhiteRose

The Fallen Angel

Jojo Dancer

Senior Swankypants

The ‘Original’ Mr. Baggins (and His Wife)

The Socialite

Roxie Heart

Prince Charming

Sir Patrick Wylde

Redd

The Unnamed One

Saint Diane

The Ziatonic Antagonist

Otto

Pasturizer

The Piz-Nifer

Dancing Queen

Downtown Donny Brown

Mama Rabbit

And, of course, a very generous sponsor who pretends to want to be anonymous.

(*Semi-Legal mumbo-jumbo jargon fine print – my thoughts, my words. Bug off if you think you theivin’ them.*)

It is Sunday, September 8, 2013. Time….Capacious

That was a fun one to figure out. It started with ‘Detained.’ Close but no cigar. So, I looked at synonyms. I found ‘Confined.’ Right church. Wrong pew. It had the right vibe but was not quite tuned properly. So, I checked antonyms.  There it was – ‘Capacious..’ I liked the sound of it. And, though the other sounded right, this one felt right.

No matter what else I can say about things going on, no matter what I could gripe about or stress over, things right this moment are indeed feeling roomy and spacious.

Why Is Money Always The First Thing We Think About When It Is The Last Thing We Need

That font is Observation of the Week.

(I thought it should be clarified since it’s been awhile.)

Look at how it went with the word…the ‘Time’ for this week. Both ‘Detained’ and ‘Confined’ were correct. In many ways, for a long time, these are what it all has been. I have been working from a very confined space and detained spirit.  But right now, in this moment, I am feeling empowered and free. This is itself is a backwards experience.

I battled the demon once more this evening and lost. Drastically lost. Though, to be honest, the moment I engage the demon I have lost. The trick to winning is to not engage in the first place. But that’s neither here nor there. I engaged. I battled. I lost. Yet, instead of feeling defeated and deflated, I find myself feeling amplified and absolute.

I shouldn’t.

But, I do.

In both instances I first had to dredge through the muck and mire before I could find where I wanted to be.

In a way , I suppose you could say my current employment situation is quite the same. It’s not so much that it itself is backwards, but the way in which I got there is quite…unorthodox.

I’m not certain that’s the right word.

For 5 years now Cuddlebug has been taking dance at the same studio. (Sunshine for four.)

When you’re in the same place at the same time every Saturday morning for 9 months a year, you begin to get to know people. You chat. You mingle. Some folks are just Saturday morning pals, others become a part of your life. I have had a few of the latter over the years. And, I have had many of the former.

There are people that have become friends, or clients…or both.

Several months ago I got a Facebook friend request. The person knew people on my friends list, all of whom went to my high school.  I have many people on my friends list who went to my high school who I have no idea who they are – and a good number of them graduated with me.

Needless to say, I assumed.

Well, you know what they say happens when you assume. That’s right – you’re usually wrong. Yes, we went to the same school. Yes, we knew some of the same people. But that is not where she was ‘knowing me from’ nor from where I recognized her.

I don’t remember how long it was before I realized this. I mean, I had suspected, but I just wasn’t certain.

She was a mother I had chatted with many times on a Saturday morning. Sometimes, merely a ‘Hello.’

So anyway, time marches on. I’m doing my thing, as I always do it. I’m putting it together, wingin’ it and pullin’ outta my ass.

I remember, I was in dire need of making money. I had just had vacation with the girls and I was tapped…and I had nothing coming in anytime soon. So, I went to work, hunting and pecking…planning and plotting.

I managed to find great deal of work between some apps on my phone. I had three days on the road. The philosophy was I lived out of the van for 7 1/2 weeks last summer, why couldn’t I do it for 3 days for work. So, I set off.

I decided it was a good quest to blog. After all, I had a plan but it was a very ‘fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants kind of plan. I knew my starting direction. From there, it was pretty much all up in the air. There were too many factors and so many options. Much like ‘The Re-Discovery Tour,’ once I left it all depended on how the wind blew.

And…it was exactly the adventure I had anticipated. So many twists and turns and subplots. I was in my space.

On the third day I was walking through this one town in New Jersey. I was feeling sublime. Nothing was really going as planned and I wasn’t quite making what I wanted to money wise, but I felt incredible. I felt inspired and uplifted.

So, I’m walking through this town and I’m talking to the Divine, as I so often do. And, I remember, I was like, “This is it. This is what I need. I need a job that will pay me significantly for traveling around and seein’ shit.”

The next day, after I had returned home, I received a Facebook message from this said same woman. She had read the blog. She said she enjoyed it and that she worked for a company that might be something I like – what with the way I seem to enjoy traveling about.

Now, here I am, working a job that does indeed seem a fit.

I enjoy the work. I like the people. There is commitment and still degree of freedom. There is responsibility and flexibility. The pay is better than what I am accustomed to and is actually right in line with that for which I was striving all along. And, of course, the ability to travel is a perk beyond words.

It’s funny, I’m at the bottom of the totem pole, but I feel like I’ve gotten a promotion.

It has been quite an adjustment.

Nonetheless, all this time, all these years, I have racked my brain and exhausted myself trying to get right where I seem to be. For so long now I have had people ask me what I’m waiting for and tell me I wasn’t trying hard enough. This was unfathomable to me. I can tell you everything I tried, every angle and avenue. I can tell you every obstacle and every hurdle jumped. I  can tell you every delay and sudden advancement. I wasn’t’ waiting for anything. I was killing myself. I couldn’t imagine what more I could have done or tried. The only thing I could say that I could have done differently, to influence things in any way, is to not have lost hope. I never lost my Faith. But hope, that shit went out the window who knows when. I was drowning and suffering. I didn’t even see it because I was so busy trying to keep balanced and afloat.

And now, here I am and things are so different…and it all happened in a way that I could have never conceived. Two points never imagined connected. Such a very backwards way to get where I wanted to go.

The same can be said of my battle with the demon. It has been a struggle – dangerous and detrimental. I have tried everything I can think of to conquer and overcome this darkness. I have approached it from many angles for a very long time. But for some reason I couldn’t put it behind me.

I can trace the energies and paths back to so many unclear moments. I can follow the development and evolution. I can see traces of it strewn throughout my life – habits, attitudes, fears, doubts, imbalances and illusions.

Try as I might I just could not heal the matter.

At a time when I let it overpower me, perhaps to a point of non-repair, I feel accomplished and complete and at peace.

No matter what can be said of my journey with the demon, it has been enlightening.

The world through the eyes of the demon was very intriguing. The realizations and realities this vision has given me are nothing any care to hear. No one would want to face the implications with which we’d be left.

Suffice it to say that I wish to take those observations and transmute them into something more positive and productive – to somehow use them for ‘The Betterment’ and ‘the Good.’

But, again, what a very backwards way to get there. Such a very long time and difficult struggle. A journey and Quest of its own. I will never understand it, but I will forever bless it and the potentials it has presented. And, perhaps, one day, I can tell the story with understanding.

One day…when the time is right and the moment is solemn.

Until then….

(And, as seen recently with my insurance – sometimes not even then.)

here in Geistopia, for now and for always, I am your beloved Rev. wishing you…

Love

Light

Peace

and Freakishness.

Feedback

Feedback has always been my favorite part of WTML, and also, the one I get to play with the least. I have long said that this is actually the most vital part of the project and have strongly encouraged folks to leave comments, questions and the like.