Funk-a-Delic

Hey Gang!

Welcome to my life…

Where anything is possible and nothing is as it seems. I’m Freedom and I’ll be your host, coming at you from within…

The Depths of Geistopiaaaaaaaaaa

Velcum to my Life ees a prochect, un experiment een Life unt ART, A liwing storyboard, if you vill. Eet’s premise ees zat you can, and do, experience za life you choose. Eet ees based on za Veel of Life unt za ARTs for za New Millennium as life building tools. Ya. Eet’s true.

Welcome to my Life is an ITV Studios/Geist…House production. JustUs Productions, the parent company, would like to give a ‘Shout-Out’ to the following for their ongoing, and oft times unknowing, inspiration and support:

Princess Cuddlebug

Princess Sunshine

Craze & Co.

The Shaman

The Pillar

The Entire Putt-Putt-Putter Clan

FaeriePrincess

Berton

The VanMan (may he R.I.P.)

Osteen, the Son

Redds

The Hoagie

Mudder

Mudslide Bill

‘The Anti-Hall Monitor’

The nameless One

Jojo Dancer

The General

The White Rose

Senior Swankypants

The Socialite

The Ziatonic Antagonist

Otto

Prof. Siggy Chong

Pasturizer

The Piz-Niffer

Dancing Queen

Downtown Encyclopedia Brown

Mama Rabbit

And, of course, a very generous sponsor who pretends to want to be anonymous.

 

(*Semi-Legal mumbo-jumbo jargon fine print – my thoughts, my words. Bug off if you think you theivin’ them.*)

It is Sunday, July 27, 2014. Time….Perfected.

A Place For Everything and Everything In It’s Place

It’s All In The Mood

Lists

 

funk

noun

Definition of FUNK

1

a: a state of paralyzing fear

b: a depressed state of mind

2

: one that funks : coward

3

: slump 1 <an economic funk> <the team went into a funk>

Origin of FUNK

perhaps from obsolete Dutch dialect (Flanders) fonck

First Known Use: 1743

**According to Merriam-Webster Online - M-W Online.**

Feedback

Feedback has always been my favorite part of WTML, and also, the one I get to play with the least. I have long said that this is actually the most vital part of the project and have strongly encouraged folks to leave comments, questions and the like.

I am pulling on 2 things for Feedback this week.

First, after last week’s post, it was brought to me about the future and ‘what happens when?’

“What happens when mom & dad are no more? What happens to the house? What happens to you?”

I understand these questions and the style of thinking that gives way to them. I just don’t generally concern myself with such matters. The future is not for me, and yet…when it gets here it will be.

I learned long ago that the future is very malleable. It shifts and changes with every breath and blink of an eye.

A Wink, a Blink and a Nod.

This is found in one of my earliest Observations (then become a Principle.)

Six Minutes Is A Very Long Time…And Everything Can Change In Six Minutes.

It was during one of my earlier visits with ‘The Pil-Man.’ We had been Pow-Wowing as we had often done in those days. It seemed business as usual. Suddenly, our Pow-Wow whisks us away and we are on the move, to and fro. ‘The Pil-Man’ is talking on as he moves from here to there and everywhere in between. Along the way, I am being handed things, randomly – some of this and a little of that. And, with each thing handed I am seeing projects completed, obstacles overcome, and problems solved. I must have noted the time previously because when it was all done, I looked at my watch and found myself awe-struck that only six minutes had passed.

In just six minutes I found myself in possession of everything I had needed previously – with no foreseeable way to attain it. And, I didn’t mention a word about any of it during the Pow-Wow. It just happened. SNAP! Like that.

Effortlessly, and easily.

The future is not for me because we never know just when we will catch up with it, or what will happen along the way.

The truth is, we all know our future long before it begins.

It happens when we accept it.

The second thing I am pulling on comes from The General. Truth be told, it is actually several months old. But, now seems a fitting time to address it a bit more in-depth.

In a dialogue, here or there, The General mentioned that ‘several people’ had asked him about my ‘funk.’ He himself was looking for some answers about it, which is why he made mention of it in the first place.

I really had no answers then. I only knew what everyone else did – that I most definitely was in a funk. Perhaps what no one else could see was that I was in desperate search of a way out of it. I was probably more aware of the funk then folks realize. And, I promise you, it was harsher, darker and even funkier that anyone knows….or cares to.

On the other side of it I can see that ‘The Funk’ comes about very slowly. It is a progression. It is no one thing but a series of events, moments, feelings, experiences.

It has been eternal.

‘The Funk’ begins long, long ago with my insecurities and low self-esteem. I do not know exactly where these began, nor what gave birth to them. I only know that in there own ways – some subtle, some obvious, some very, very dangerous – they have overshadowed every thing I have done and been. It seems as though they have been forever haunting and taunting me since ‘The Youth I Scarcely Recall'.’ (I think that is a much more suiting title for that chapter of my life.)

I’m not sure if anyone realizes just how predominant these things have been in my life. It seems I have always felt awkward and out of place. Isolated. Even at times when I should have been in complete control of the moment I would find myself drifting back into the shadows and watching it slip by. So much of life missed all because I was afraid of…something.

So unsure and so lost.

So there was ‘The Funk,’ festering since the beginning.

Compact this with a seemingly eternal string of failures and rejections. I don’t think, back then, that I even had a hope for happiness. I’m not even certain I had even taken the time to conceive such a notion. I was just eternally destined for failure and to be alone.

I would dream of happiness – of having my moment or winning the girl. But I never truly had hope for it. And when I left that world and returned to the real one that is how I lived. I never really tried…and when I did, I would inevitably fuck it up.

And so it would go, over and over again.

Even when I found myself in, truly, the greatest relationship I have found in this life, the fear swelled up and destroyed it.

So alone.

Forever alone…even in a room full of friends or family.

Each year it would grow, mirroring itself in my life more and more with failure after failure…all culminating with that ‘little red-headed whore.’

Now, on top of that, sprinkle the chaos and dysfunction that has been been The Geist Household.

And, the cherry on top of my suicidal sundae -

For so long I just felt out of place. I didn’t know where I belonged or who I was. I didn’t understand so many, almost uncountable, moments and experiences in my life. Then one day, I truly discovered Spirit.

I can’t tell you which exactly was the moment or the experience that spawned it all, I only recall the timeframe…and the process.

Once I accepted existence for what it is, once I opened the doors, there was no turning back. My life had surely changed. But, it felt right. It didn’t seem to matter how odd or other-worldly it was all becoming. It fit.

But, as I have come to learn and accept, late in my life, verily it is odd and other-worldly and is not for everyone. Not yet.

Back then though it was very different. The further along my path I traveled, the crazier it became, the more I watched my life disappear. Over time my friends all drifted way. Each, one by one. The whole of my family had all but disowned me. Whole, that is, but 4. (One is no longer with us and I hope to one day do something grand for the other three.)

So, now I here I was, literally watching myself become more and more alone in a room full of people. The same people. A room full of family and friends. People I had known the whole of my life. People I had grown…and grown up with. And, the sad truth of the matter is I was forced to watch as more and more each of them could care less and less.

So it went, on and and on, every few months for more years than I can actually count.

The King would herald a ball and of course I would have to accept. One never declines an invitation to the castle. It was my duty, my responsibility and, as time would have it told, my destiny.

So there I was fulfilling my duties, knowing I am on the path for me, and all the while I am tortured and tormented as I watch my own life happening without me.

To this day, none of them know that I tested my theories. Over time I took to drifting back into the shadows, disappearing from the ball. I would return some time later to discover that I was indeed correct. No one had noticed my absence.

Even all but one of my high school friends had drifted away. Inevitably, he too would take his leave and that would be the final nail in this funkadelic coffin of my life.

And, who can forget the secret ingredient, the most precious and prized of them all?

The daemon I was able to awake but never shake.

So, there you have it General. ‘The Funk’ – in liner note form.

Needless to say there is much more to it –depths and depths.

More to the point of the matter, I am calling a ‘Cease Funk.’

There will be no more.

That is not who I am.

But for this to happen than I must accept that I Am That I Am. I have always been. As I think I may have said accepting that explains so much of my life. I have always known who I was to be. At times, I saw it as only a dream, the fascinating whimsy of a lost lad. At other times I was prone to thinking too much of it…and myself. I took advantage of it and abused it. But, I have always been striving for it.

I have been less than perfect in it. I have delved into darker depths of deprivation than I ever imagined I could. I pushed limits and tested boundaries. I was living an addict’s life.

I was addicted to pain, to suffering. I promise you, I more than ensured that I would endure it too. I was making more and more dangerous and detrimental decisions. I promise you that it is only by the grace of God that it is only by the grace of God that I am sitting here today to write this. (And sometimes I question how long even that will last.)

I had completely taken to the shadows, cutting myself off from any semblance of a life. In that darkness I began to rot away. I was becoming more beast like with each passing day. I could no longer look myself in the eye. All of this only served to reinforce the hopeless and pathetic existence that was mine.

All the while, I am balancing two lives. The one you all think you know…and the one I was living. Of all the people I know, of those who have come along for the ride along the way, there is only ‘The Pil-man’ that knows the whole of it all.

Yet, the whole time I never once, no matter who dark and depraved it was, I never once forgot the glory of it all. The splendidness and magick that is this thing we call life. I have traversed my seven levels of Hell and it is only by Grace that I have survived. No one knows, in order to get here, just how many times I have died.

And yes…to die, most certainly is, an excellent adventure.

Life has been very intense of late. I’m not frenzied or blurred out or any such thing. It’s just that ever since the party, ever since Cuddlebug’s mixture so much has been changing and shifting – internally as well as externally. Things are just falling into place, slowly but most definitely surely. It seems to happen naturally and of its own accord.

The more I relax, the more I release, the more I realize just how perfect and precise it all is. No moment passes without purpose. I am marveled by the true splendor of Life Eternal.

Things are feeling right once more. I am not certain what breathed the final breathe of life into me but I just feel different. It’s like I just woke up one day and I said enough is enough. I was determined to get things done, set it all straight…bring The Light back once more.

I have been establishing routine…or rather, it has been establishing itself. I have let go of the need to control my life. (Mostly.) I have given it reign once more. For in those days, when Life and The Light ruled supreme things were bountiful, balanced and beautiful.

As far as I can tell this plan is working.

I am seeing things get done. I am sticking to my devotions and exercises. As the weeks have passed I have added, one bit at a time, more and more to the routine. It seems fairly balanced as it runs the entire gamut of my life. The property is getting cleaned up and maintained. the house as well. I am regularly performing my spiritual practices. The workshop is functional with projects abound. I am spending plenty of time with the Princesses, and even venturing out on social occasions of my own. (Concert…Wednesday…Camden…Awesomeness abound.)

I have refocused the flow and everything just seems to happen.

I was just thinking last week that I was happy with everything. I liked the way I was seeing things unfold. But, I thought silently to the Universe, it would be nice if we could get some sort of regular work regimen in there.

‘Lo and behold, within a few days I was offered the opportunity to work 20-24 hours a week in the production room at the office. It fits perfectly. I am going to do 8:30-1:00 Mon thru Friday. this will help me maintain the routine as it has been established and still allow me the opportunity to pursue other opportunities.

In the past six weeks, since about mid-Junish, I have had 1 Tarot client and 2 house, cleansing/blessing with a possible third on the horizon. In two weeks, I have a wedding to officiate. this is the most activity in this arena I have seen in a very long time. Perhaps it will continue. if not, there are any number of other possibilities.

In the meantime, no matter what the future of my work/financial life may hold, I am simply trying to make the most of every moment and chance I can.

I feel as though I have been granted much more than a second chance. I’m fairly certain I had my second chance many, many chances ago. I am not certain why God wishes to favor me so.

If I have so been deemed worthy I should live that way. I have added revelry to my routine. More often than I can truly express I am spending my moments in revelry and awe of the splendor of being.

Today, incidentally, I found not only the two types of saw blades I needed to proceed with things but I also stumbled upon router bits. This is significant. the router is one of those tools that is very handy and multi-functional as a crafter.  It’s actually kind of a must I think. So….A long time ago someone had given me a router. It needed some work, which I diligently took care of, and off I set – having used it once I believe.

This was before the downfall. So, lost in that cavern of eternal darkness, I lost track of many things – the router bits included. I have had so many projects I have thought of doing and then realized I really should have a router. I guess now I can.

Without asking, I received just enough new gutter protectors to do one set of rain gutters. I’m glad too because the gutters were in much worse shape than I imagined.

I have been so strapped for funds, longer than I care to think about, and yet, every step of the way I have had Just Enough to take care of what was needed in the moment. Surprisingly enough, this has included all sorts of random needed expenditures – those things you don’t think about until you actually need them.

Money has drizzled in, here and there, but I am slowly regaining momentum. I am getting caught up. I have been treading water, financially, for months now. I happened to manage one swift boom in the middle of it all. Just Enough to get the job done at the time and keep me going. But it has been tight and tough.

Yet, as the Divine Promise sayeth, at every moment I have had precisely what I have needed. The other day I cashed in change. it gave me enough to make a small grocery purchase and get lunch (unexpectedly.) And, I was left with as much in my wallet at the end of the day as I had when it began.

In fact, I believe I still have that same little bit of cash on me now.

I have pulled on resources I don’t necessarily care to, in the vain of getting the job done. I have been trying to do it slow and steady. I figure as all things balance themselves out, it will as well.

From here in Geistopia, for now and for always, I am your beloved Rev. wishing you…

Love

Light

Peace

and Freakishness.