I Am…Blessed

 

It’s true. It’s not always easy to remember that, but…it’s true.

Monday, March 17, 2014 (9…by way of 18)

2216

Full Moon (barely)

I have been wanting to sit and write for what seems like a very long time. Life has been a frenzy. As always, this has it’s pros and cons, its ups and downs as it were. But…

I Am…Blessed.

I’ve been thinking about that for awhile now. Ever since Vegas actually.

It’s one of the many little side stories I never got to tell. A simple conversation at a buffet…and it has completely shifted perception.

I was talking with this woman at one of the hotel buffets. It was idle conversation at first. Then we talked about the amount of waste that must come from such a den of gluttony. Really. It’s beyond absurd. It’s obscene. Because, as we discussed, all of that waste must remain so. It cannot be given away or donated in any way shape or form. (And, I’m fairly certain that is by law.)

Anyway, this is what we talked about. Naturally, the conversation swayed in the direction of the homeless and helping them. I mentioned that I almost always give to that “person on the street.” Which is very true. Even on The Quest I very often gave what I had left to some other person on the street. After all, I had greater opportunity to make it back before me.

So, the woman turns to me and says, “And that is why you are blessed.”

I had never really thought about it before. I mean, I certainly never would have used those words myself. But then…I never really thought about it before.

I’ve thought about it now.

A lot.

And, I Am…Blessed.

I don’t even really like to talk about it. I’m finding it difficult to bring words to the table now.

This is actually a very interesting look at the core of my being and perhaps at some of the blockages I have experienced.

I feel guilty being blessed.

I do.

Like…who am I to be blessed? How dare I claim such a thing? (Just who do I think I AM?)

But…I am. Very much so. And, I always have been.

Never would I have put those words to The Journey as a whole. What with all the heartache and setbacks and struggle and strife and so on.

But, I Am…Blessed.

I have spent a lot of time lately looking back over it all, the whole of my life – or, at least, that which I can actually remember.

I don’t know that I ever really looked at it all together before, because it has all been so different. It has changed so many times. And, I mean really changed. Like, I look back and I see definite ‘Eras.’

I have found myself in so many interesting places. I have been graced by some of the most wonderful people.

Oh god, and the women I have loved. (Even the ones who never knew.)

It has been this amazing life filled with the most splendid of treasures in all shapes and sizes – people, places, experiences, music, memories, magick and on and on. I can’t seem to stop reveling in it.

Then I think of all that has gone wrong – broken relationships, lost friendships, failures and debts and…the darkness.

And, I Am…Blessed.

Not only has each and every one of these things given me something in some way at some point but I have survived them. Somehow, some way, at the end of it all everything seems to work out ok. There may be scars or things that need repair or changing but everything works out ok…and it always has.

A long time ago, Brother Love made that very statement to me, “You always come out smelling like roses, Dude.”

I had never really thought about it.

I Am…Blessed.

I not only accept this but I embrace. I embrace it because in doing so I allow myself to share it.

(…and that was the goal all along.)

This is my mission right now – to share ‘The Blessing’ every day as much as I possibly can in whatever way is suitable.

So Mote It Be.