I Like Where Things Are
Hey Gang!
Welcome to my life…
Where anything is possible and nothing is as it seems. I’m Freedom and I’ll be your host, coming at you from within…
The Depths of Geistopiaaaaaaaaaa
Velcum to my Life ees a prochect, un experiment een Life unt ART, A liwing storyboard, if you vill. Eet’s premise ees zat you can, and do, experience za life you choose. Eet ees based on za Veel of Life unt za ARTs for za New Millennium as life building tools. Ya. Eet’s true.
Welcome to my Life is an ITV Studios/Geist…House production. JustUs Productions, the parent company, would like to give a ‘Shout-Out’ to the following for their ongoing, and oft times unknowing, inspiration and support:
Princess Cuddlebug
Princess Sunshine
Craze & Co.
The Shaman
The Pillar
The Entire Putt-Putt-Putter Clan
FaeriePrincess
Berton
The VanMan (may he R.I.P.)
Osteen, the Son
The Faery-Taler
The Nameless One
Senior SwankyPants
The General
The White Rose
JoJo Dancer
The Socialite
Redds
Hoagie
Mudder
Mudslide Bill
The Cowboy
Not Bob
Liz-ard
Danny Boy
The Balletic One
The Ziatonic Antagonist
Otto
Prof. Siggy Chong
Pasturizer
Dancing Queen
Downtown Encyclopedia Brown
Mama Rabbit
And, of course, a very generous sponsor who pretends to want to be anonymous.
(*Semi-Legal mumbo-jumbo jargon fine print – my thoughts, my words. Bug off if you think you theivin’ them.*)
It is Sunday, October 12, 2014. Time….
The Power of Forgiveness
I found this Theme particularly interesting. First, in how it came to me. You may recall that in last week’s post I mentioned Forgiveness as a possible Theme or Lesson. Well, on Monday it came to me. Over and over and over again. I saw it in the heading of an email. I saw it on a sign in front of a church. It seemed everywhere I looked, there it was, smacking me in the face.
And, it was the Lessons that followed that made it even more interesting.
There are two types of Forgiveness – of others and of the self – each with varying levels and degrees. For instance, it is easy to say that we forgive another for what may have happened along the way…but do we really? You can tell where there is Forgiveness because there should be absolutely no tension left. There would be no need for it. If there is Forgiveness then there is no more hurt, no more sensitivities to appease.
I have been looking at this within several relationships in my life. When forgiving others it is important to remember that everyone is working from their own space, their own understanding, their own comfort zone. I find that typically people are not out to purposely slight, offend or hurt another. But, sometimes things happen and in those moments we all do whatever we think is best. As life races forward, passions flare, and shit happens we do our best to protect ourselves – to do the best we can in any given situation.
We do not always make the best choice.
None of us do. Sometimes we make very poor choices, but they are the best choices we can make at the time. We all go through it. We all experience it. Sooner or later, at some time or another. The truth of the matter is that in another’s shoes each of us may very well make the same choice that hurt us in the first place…or a worse one.
We all do it. We all have done it.
Understanding this unlocks the gateway to Forgiveness. If we remember that we are all the same, that we all make mistakes and errors in judgment – that we all just want the best life we can imagine…and we’re all willing to make the choices that we feel get us there best. From this viewpoint, forgiving others their alleged transgressions should be very easy. Just as we would want one to forgive us our poor decisions and bad actions.
…forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us…
But, even if we get past that, do we truly forgive? Do I?
It’s very easy to say we have forgiven someone, but it is just as easy to still hold on to even the slightest fragment of it. If that fragment exists, does Forgiveness? I can forgive Mama for leaving. It truly was the best thing for everyone. But, have I forgiven her for how she left and the way she handled it? Do I forgive her when she repeatedly recreates those energies today?
Many times over the years I have forgiven my parents certain attitudes and ways of being, accepting that these were learned behaviors. It is through these things that they find their safety and comfort. There may be better ways, but these are what they know. These are what they have learned through lifetimes that I will never fully comprehend no matter how much I know of them. So…I forgive them.
But, have I forgiven the awkward ways they have chosen to ‘relate’ to me over the years?
Forgiveness of the self can be a struggle itself. This is probably my greatest struggle. I say all the time how I am a guilt-ridden person. I carry guilt about everything – every debt, every hurt I have caused, every poor choice or decision. All of it. It swims around inside, unnoticed for the most part, and every so often rises to the surface.
So often I wish I could make right all that I have done wrong. I constantly move forward, dragging the past behind me. I am always looking for ways to ‘make it up.’ I can not wipe the slate clean, but I often wish I could wipe them from my mind. I suppose, to do this, I need only forgive myself and move on, knowing that I will make better choices and decisions in the future.
Where Should The Eggs Go
With the hectic way life pushes forward, and everything being so ‘gosh-darned important,’ it’s easy to become overwhelmed an confused. We all have lives to lead, and yet, sometimes life gets in the way.
We all have families and friends, careers, hobbies and interests, goals, education, bills, dreams, pursuits, and other commitments of all kinds. With all of that going on at once, what should get the focus, when…and how much?
We want it all.
Of course, the more involved you are, the more complicated this can get. For instance, I not only have my ‘real job’ – the one I go to and work some “set” hours – I also have all of my other ‘things’ – the random miscellany that fills in the gaps. It all can thrive. It all has potential. And, I need as much of it all as I can get.
So…where should the eggs go?
So often in the past I have put them all in the same basket - focusing on each aspect of my life when it seemed appropriate. But, when I did, I would put all of my focus there. I would try to get it to come around and reach it’s potential.
I would do this at the sacrifice of the other areas.
In the end, I would always find myself someplace further behind than when I started. The momentum of whatever I was focusing on would cease and I would be left with nothing else. I would have to start the journey all over again from square one. I would have to build the momentum across the board once more.
So, currently, there is a lot going on all at once – across the board. there is potential for more hours at the “real job.” The I.C. work is steadily increasing once more. Even the ministry is having an overall upswing, minimal as it may be. Plus, there are crafts waiting to be done.
Each of these things brings money into the fold. Each contributes in its own way. Each has its own sacrifices. To focus on one is to let another be at rest. So…with all this going on…
Where should the eggs go?
Keep It Balanced
The answer to that question became apparent rather quickly.
In fact, it was right in front of me. It’s precisely what I have been working at for the past few weeks. It’s not a matter of which to put my focus on. I must keep my focus on all of them. I must keep them all going at one. There is only way way to do this.
Keep them balanced.
I have to put a fair and equal amount of time and effort into each area of my life.
Baby Steps.
I just have to take my time, working with what is before me and allowing the rest to unfold naturally. It is a fine balance to achieve. Working my ‘real job’ guarantees me income but greatly reduces the amount of productive time I can commit to things like the I.C. work (which also requires money in order to do in the first place.) Putting too much time into the I.C. work greatly reduces the amount of time I can put into the ‘real job’ and may also cost me more than I have to spend at the moment.
The simple fact of the matter is that I need both in order to succeed and achieve my goals. I have calculated it over and over again and even with 40 hours the ‘real job’ does not give me enough workable income to really push forward the way I would like. Though this is kind of a moot point at the moment. Work can offer me some hours right now, extra hours, but to my knowledge cannot deliver 40 hours guaranteed weekly.
But this is the issue that arose this week. There have been changes at work, which have allowed for some extra hours for a time. I have been taking of this to an extent…just not the fullest. So, someone suggested that I was ‘limiting’ myself. I do not see it that way, but then, Understanding is Relative.
I would feel more limited committing all of my time to that than if I allowed myself to continue nurturing the I.C. work which is actually going well recently. I don’t want to cut my nose off to spite my face like I have done so many times in the past.
I have spent several weeks working on my regimen and routine, trying to get everything back where it should be. I have been making progress, slowly but surely. Trying to take on too many different things at once or even too much of one thing at a time could greatly alter the results I have been seeing thus far. In carpentry, a mistake of just 1/16 of an inch grows exponentially the further along you go without correcting it. I can’t afford that 1/16” this time around.
The messages have been there for weeks in the form of past Themes, Lessons, and Observations. Even Totems lately have been delivering the message, “Just keep doing what you’re doing.”
That is what I am going to have to go with. Keep it all balanced and fluid at the same time.
Feedback
Feedback has always been my favorite part of WTML, and also, the one I get to play with the least. I have long said that this is actually the most vital part of the project and have strongly encouraged folks to leave comments, questions and the like.
General – I do so love your comments…though they can baffle me.
And, a special ‘Shout-Out’ to Senor Swankypants this week. He shared with me, inadvertent as it was, one of my favoritest moments of the week. And, I hope that he doesn’t mind that I am going to share the story now.
So, I was sitting and minding my own business on Friday night when I receive a text from, none other than, Swank. Now, I have known Swank a very long time and I do consider him a dear friend, but we are not overly involved in each other’s lives. We pass by each other every so often, touching base for this reason or that every so often. Needless to say that I was quite surprised to receive a random text from him in the first place but even more curious when I read it and it said that a group he is involved with needed someone for today.
Now this would be a great honor, even to just be asked. But, it made no sense. I know the type of person they would need and I didn’t quite fit the bill. Plus, he’s the only one from the group that really knows me.
I sent him a text back with a simple one word question, trying to clarify what he had written. A few moments had passed with no response and I thought on the whole thing some more. I sent him another text, “Or is this one of those situations where you texted the wrong person and now it’s all awkward and shit?” (followed by a tongue emoticon.)
The response…
“Yup!! LOL!!”
It’s all good, brother! I loved it and I laughed several times over it. So thank you for sharing in that moment with me.
I enjoyed this week. Very much I enjoyed this week.
It started off right and, despite any minor moments, seemed to maintain that vibe.
On Monday, I had a few errands to run. It was during this running around that I kept stumbling upon this week’s Theme.
I had to run metal to the scrap yard and then take care of someone’s yard in the afternoon. I figured that between the 2 of them I should pull in about $50. Well, recycling was about $5 less than I had hoped it would be. I shrugged it off and kept moving.
However, while I was in the recycling office I over heard a phone conversation about an employee who had just had a child born. The child needs a heart machine and the employee must pay for it out of his own pocket, so the office staff was taking up a collection amongst the rest of the crew. I acknowledged this conversation and offered my blessings and prayers.
I left the office but didn’t quite feel right. I looked at the cash in my hand – a $5 and a $10. I turned on my heels, marched back into the office and laid the $5 on the counter. Then I left and went about my day.
At the yard site, I found myself pleasantly surprised when the check was for $10 more than usual. So, here I had spent $5 extra dollars that I had not planned on, giving it to what I felt was a worthy cause, and in the end still made the same $50 I had hoped from the start.
There were several similar cases of this throughout the week. For example, a debt I accrued over the past few weeks of severe poverty is being called in. I knew it would be sooner or later. Just about the same time, I had a client contact me about some cleansing and Reiki work. This will cover my debt and afford me a some extra money to take care of other things, such as the office supplies I am starting to desperately need.
I had a weekend without the Princesses. This is a once a month thing. Sometimes twice, depending on the number of weekends in the month. I had some time and an open window. I decided I wanted to treat myself to a little bit of me. A woman from worked bought a reading (at a discount) and this was Just Enough cover my intended ‘splurging.’
There were some very interesting dreams this week as well.
The first was early in the week. I could not remember much of it, but what I could remember proved interesting. The first thing that stood out to me was the number 402. I don’t remember how it appeared in the dream, only that I saw it. When I researched the number and its energies I found that it is a message saying that everything is ok and on track. It is a number of angelic influence. The message goes on to say that, “efforts are being noticed and acknowledged. keep on your path. though things may not be in place yet, they are coming. There could be things behind-the-scenes that are not quite ready.”
In the dream, a group of us were planning and building. At one point a fiery creature appeared and tried to burn it all down. however, I had known it was coming and was prepared with buckets of water for my friends and I to douse the fire. It seems we were creating a church of some sort. I cannot recall the name of it, though it had been mentioned. I only remember that the ‘vision’ of this church was to lift people up. All people. Lifted up as high as we could get them.
In the second dream, someone currently in my life and I were go over something. I’m not sure what it was exactly, but in the end she pointed to a name and circled it. It was a girlfriend from the past. I have often said she was probably the truest love I had known. Though I didn’t know it at the time.
I reacted poorly to this name. Not out of a lack of caring or attachment but as I said in the dream, “I am not going back into the past.”
I continued to work on ‘The Freedom Challenge’ this week. Tweaking things into place, piece by piece. Maintaining, to the best of my ability, that which is already in place.
I felt good all week long, however, Thursday into Friday became a void of sorts. I couldn’t wake up when I wanted to on Thursday morning. I slept way past the time I have been waking up lately. This put my day off to delayed start. I was just a little off pace all day long and never did quite get it back. I let it go though. It’s all about the Baby Steps. As long as as I get back up and keep on riding, does it really matter how many times I fall off the horse?
Then, Saturday night, came the ‘Divine Moment.’ It was one of those moments when all of life just stopped as I reveled and awed at the massive power (and reality) of the God-Force.
The following video is a brief insight into the impact the moment had had on me:
I had worked on Friday, which was a little out of the current normal routine. But, I also had a lot on my mind, and a lot of miscellaneous things to set into motion when I got home. I was sitting and purging my thoughts, trying to get things into place. At the same time I was doing some pre-work on this very blog.
I had come to an impasse though. I couldn’t remember what I was trying to remember. My mind had blanked. I was trying to recall the Theme of the week. I knew it was in my head, I just couldn’t find it. I sat for quite a few minutes, pondering and plucking away at the thoughts. I became restless but was unable to move on to something else. I needed the Theme and then I could walk away.
I noticed that it was just after 6PM. It was time for my evening devotion. Just a little past in fact.
Each day, I do a set of 4 devotions. Each comes at a particular part of the day and is designed to put you ‘in tune’ with the energies for the following part of the day. It’s sort of like taking a moment to say thank you for the blessings that have been and those that are still to come.
The devotions follow the course of the sun through the day and are done facing the corresponding direction. Each direction is associated with one of four Archangels. In the evening, as the sun sets, I face West. This is the direction of Gabriel – the Power of God.
I did my devotion and just that quickly the thought that had been eluding me popped to the front of my mind.
I reveled in the perfection of this moment. I stalled out in the first place because on some level I knew that it was time to do my devotion. This actually happens to me often. I have been doing these devotions at regular times for so long that they have almost become second nature. Very often I find myself thinking that it is almost time only to look at the clock and find myself surprised at just how close it is.
But, it was more than the timing of it. It was the association of it. I have always had a special bond with the angel Gabriel. those devotionals tend to be my favorite and most enlightening. So, to have my answer come from that direction was interesting to say the least. But, the message behind this week’s Theme can very much be associated with the West, water, and the angel Gabriel.
I was floored. No matter how often I am reminded of it, the perfection of life never ceases to amaze me. No matter how often I admit it and hail it from the mountaintops, I am always stunned when reminded that there is a force in the Universe greater than anything we can truly comprehend. It is so great it can only be known as The God-Force.
It was a reminder of all things important –
Trust in the Universe, for it is already at work taking care of needs you are not yet even aware of.
All things are perfectly timed. If there is a stall, do not give into the frustration of it. Embrace it for what it is and wait for it to end.
Ask and…sooner or later, in some fashion or another…it is Given.
From here in Geistopia, for now and for always, I am your beloved Rev. wishing you…
Love
Light
Peace
and Freakishness.
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