Picking Up Where We Left Off

Hey Gang! Welcome to my life, where anything is possible and nothing is as it seems. I'm The Rev. Matt and I'll be your host - Coming at you from within the depths of Geistopia.

Welcome to My Life is a project, an experiment in life and ART. A living storyboard, if you will. It's premise is that you can, and do, experience the life you choose. It is based on The Wheel of Life and The ARTs for the New Millennium as life building tools.

Welcome to My Life is an I TV Studios/Geist...House production, in association with The Center for Creative Inspirationalism. Justus Productions, the parent company, would like to give a 'Shout-Out' to a butt-load of people for their ongoing, and oft times unknowing, inspiration and support.

It is Sunday, April 3, 2016. Time...Enigmatic. First things first -

It is with a heavy heart and much sorrow that I must announce that my good friend, The General, is no longer with us. (Not physically anyway.) For three years, The General has fought a battle against brain cancer. And, finally, last week, it won. Unfortunately, it was the inevitable outcome and I suppose we all knew that all along. But, that doesn't make this moment any easier to bear. The General was a great man and that was evident at his funeral.

For those of you who have followed along for some time you have seen The General referenced, both in the 'Shout-Outs' and in the regular storytelling. The General has been with me and WTML since the very beginning. He used to watch my videos when I was still doing them on VHS. He was always very supportive and encouraging. Many things I put forth, I had put forth from his comments and input. When the 'Shout-Outs' return to their (lengthy) listing he will still be there. He will join The Van-Man in the R.I.P. gallery. Just as he has joined him on the wall of The Matt-Cave. They both hang on the wall by the window. It is right at my desk and I can look at them often and see them looking at me.

It's kind of ironic, I suppose. For so long I have been stuck in this 'rut.' (The General's word.) And, finally, over the past few weeks I have realized that I actually have something with which to work. For so long, I was handling it all one week at a time. In doing such, everything became very separated and individual. The true course of things was getting lost in the translation, as it were. Suddenly, I am looking at the whole of the past year. I have seen the connections and how one moment had led to so many others. And, now, he is not actually here to enjoy it or take part in it.

It is very strange for me to think that he is not there anymore...watching, reading, pondering. He didn't comment or interact all the time, but I know he was there all the time. So, from this point forward, the entire project is dedicated to the memory of The General. He always watched, he always helped. He wanted to see where it was going. Now, it must go someplace.

That being said, let us move on with 'the show,; shall we....

I didn't have a post last week. That is not because I did not write one. In fact, I spent a lil over four hours writing one. It was one that I was very happy with, but it was not going to ever make it to 'publication.' Just as I went to save it/upload it, I encountered an internet connection problem and the whole post was lost. It was not something I could have ever repeated. Since Everything Happens for a Reason, I can only assume that the writing was for me and me alone. There was certainly plenty I was able to take from it.

So, since it is two weeks from my last post, let me see if I can re-cap what has been going on.

Let's see....two weeks ago....

Two weeks ago I had quite a bit going on. Life was starting to take a course all its own. There were lots of questions and issues on the table, and even more energies in the air. I was being asked to take a closer look at myself. The real question was, "Who am I and what do I do?" One would think that this would be an easy question to answer, but it wasn't. I mean I know who I am. I'm The Rev. Matt. I just don't really know what that means. And, when it comes to, "What do I do," well that answer always seems to be, "I do what I do."

As of two weeks ago, I had already been spending several weeks with a friend trying to put words to the actions. She was not only trying to "learn" from me, but to also help me put definition to whatever sort of magic it is that I work. This had been an interesting journey. In fact, it is what opened the door for all of the energies that would begin to manifest. (Including, and especially, the arrival of The Daemon.)

It all started around Imbolc. (February 1, for those who may be wondering.) Up until then life was pretty normal and sane - for me anyway. I had been working a new job. Things were starting to get done around Geistopia, once I recovered from Yule that is. I felt good actually. It seemed as though perhaps life was actually starting to improve. Then came Imbolc.

Generally, I know better than to make too much of my life between Yule and Imbolc. It is always a void-ish time of year for me. Nothing ever has really taken shape in that time. But then Imbolc comes and things start to happen. This year was a little different. Things started to take shape, but it was a shape that I never could have anticipated. I mean, things had already been on their own course for several weeks at that point. Perhaps that is what had me caught off guard when Imbolc began to do its thing. I can't recall the last time I had activity or work in January. It is always a dead time. Even when I was doing Fiber testing, January was a nothing month. And, because of the Fiber testing, the whole of the month was turned to nothingness.

But this year was different. There was work. There was flow and activity. Then Imbolc came and everything started to change. Life spiraled, almost out of control.

Imbolc was the first session my friend and I had held and, I felt, it was pretty intense. There were strong energies and even a visit from Spirits. Even when I returned home, the Spirits were still strong. Stronger than I was going to realize at the time. But, after that, things got crazy. I was working, but the money wasn't there. I was not only not getting ahead, I was starting to fall behind. I was getting things done but at a very awkward pace and order.

The heavy introspection continued. I was really being forced to look at myself and who I am. Throughout February, and most of March, there was a very distinct pattern happening. I would have my moments, such as Imbolc. Spirit and energy would be so strong and I would feel so right. Then the week would move forward and I would start to lose touch with all of that. I would get restless and irritable. And, just in time, that little of Oasis of Self would appear again. I would spend some time there, regroup and move forward once more.

Meanwhile, the financial struggles were mounting. I'm still not caught up or recovered from them. As things stand right now, I have no idea how I do that.

Before long, the stress and struggle of it all would start to rear its ugly head in my work environment. It was a touchy situation all along. I was not an employee of the company, but an independent contractor. I was not employed by, but contracted by. This would eventually become a sensitive matter between myself and the company. One that would, eventually, bring about the end of the working relationship. (This was covered in the lost post from last week.)

But, my gifts were being reinforced. My friend and I continued to meet and mingle. A lot of different moments happened. I had people contacting me randomly with little insights into my impact on their lives. It strengthened my conviction that I most certainly am The Rev. Matt. It's who I am and what I do. Unfortunately, I still don't understand how exactly it works or what it is I am supposed to do with it.

There were so many messages, signs and even omens along the way. Before it was all over I would be led on a Spiritual Quest like none other I have faced in the past. One of the common Themes was accepting change and letting go of fears. TRhat can be interpreted in so many different ways. It is just so applicable on so many levels of my life. Especially now that I find myself without work once more.

Along the way there have also been messages such as, "Do more of what you love," "Anything is possible," and, "Be prepared to have your mind blown."

I can't talk too much about what happened with the company because it is intended that one day, sooner or later, there will be legal action involved. Even though it ended in a way that really took me by surprise, it was a problem I had seen developing. It was a problem that I had tried to avoid, in fact. There was this moment, when I put the company above Spirit, for the sole purpose of avoiding the problem. But it was after that moment that things quickly spiraled out of control.

So, here I am, once more with no employment and all of the same thoughts, questions and feelings. This is the point to which I always get reset. It doesn't seem to matter how hard I work, what I do, or what my life becomes along the way, this is the point to which I always return. I call it 'One Step Forward and Two Steps Back.'

I do have a couple of interviews in the next couple of days, but I do not know what that means. I'm not sure it matters. I want a job, or rather I want income. But, after all this time, what difference does it really make. All the jobs I have worked over the years have never made a difference. They seem to have only ever served as distractions and detractions from my soul. Yet, here I am again, looking for another one.

The interview I have tomorrow offers and income I could really use right now. In fact, it is the income I have been striving towards recently. But it also asks that I give up quite a bit along the way. Most especially, my weekends with the Princesses. It is a problem I have faced time and time again but never allowed myself to confront. It seems any job that will hire me also requires me to work weekends. This is something I was never willing to consider in the past. My weekends are precious to me. Invaluable. This is the only time the Princesses and I have together...and it is already so brief. It goes by so quickly. I already feel as though I don't have enough time with them. Not just to spend with them, but to be their father p to guide them, and teach them and encourage them.

It's funny. One of the women I will be meeting with in the morning said, "Well they are only 8 hour shifts." Yes, but even just one 8 hour shift makes a huge difference. We have a total of 47 hours together on the weekend. If you figure 8 hours of sleeping each night and then add just one 8 hour shift, that is just slightly over half of our time together. So, if I work any hours on a Friday and/or Sunday that overlap our time, then the weekend is all gone.

The Princesses and I have talked about it. Needless to say, they are not happy with the idea. And, it certainly doesn't sit right with me. The very thought of it leaves a very large knot in my gut. It is a hard call to make really. I want the money. This is new. This is not a feeling or a driving factor that I have ever really faced before. I mean, I've always wanted money and to be able to do things and move things forward, but it was never a motivation for me. Suddenly, it kind of is. But at what cost?

But then, how long can I muddle through really? Nothing I have ever tried to do in the name of Rev. Matt has taken off or worked. It comes and goes in spurts. That is difficult as well. It makes it very hard to feel right in life and to live normally. All this poverty and all the setbacks. It is an internal conflict that has left me frozen. I do not know what to do or how to feel. I do not know how to proceed.

So, all I can do is pray and hope that I am capable of following whatever guidance that comes my way.

For now, it is not an urgency. I can not outright accept any job offer tomorrow. If for no other reason, because I have an interview on Tuesday morning. I know very little about that company and what they may offer or ask from me in return. It may be better for me. The interview tomorrow has another offer available for me as well. I will do the interview tomorrow and be as frank and forthright as I can be. I will hear what they have to offer and what is really required of me - what my time commitments will entail. I will also lay on the table certain points that I must stand strong on. For instance, my two 1 week vacations with the Princesses over the summer. These are non-negotiable. It wouldn't matter what company I am interviewing with or what job they offer or how many benefits are involved. If those two weeks create a problem for the company then the company is not for me.

I must move forward detached from everything. No expectations or desires. I must do my best not to let my ego interfere with my progress. Which it has obviously been doing for years. I just do not understand exactly how it has been happening. 

Spiritually, things have been...unreal. Literally.

Dreamtime has been intense.

Spirit has been strong - not just the Universal Spirit but also very specific individual manifestations of such.

There has been much magick and many rituals.

There have been cleanings and cleansings.

I was even slain (again) along the way.

It has been a very distinct path ever since Imbolc. But not just since then, as I was to learn just a few weeks ago. This is a course that was set a year ago. And not just a year ago, but, as things would eventually reveal, all along. It has been 18 years getting here to this very moment. I had a vision quest about a month ago that would tie it all together -  my first time being slain, my death, so many points along the way. They all interweave and interconnect. For so long I was seeing them individually, never realizing just how much each one fed into the next.

The thing about this past year is I have it. I have it all captured and recorded. Every important moment along the way was filmed. I have the first set of videos from last April/May that seem to have set it all in motion. I have Imbolc, the night Spirit would literally steal my the breath from me. I have the night that the Daemon announced his arrival. I have the discovery of how it all connects together. And, I have all these little moments in between.

I have the story. I do not have the ending. That is something we are still on our way to, but I have the story. I can tell the story. And, hopefully, I can show how each moment leads to now.

I was hoping that by this week I could be telling that story, but the absence of the post last week sort of put a glitch in that plan. I need to start a year ago. Some of those videos were already posted, but now I must share them once more, with a new perspective and understanding of them. I am hesitating to begin that process because there are so many videos that have not been put together yet and I really don't want to get to a point again where I falter. I do not want to break the cycle once it begins.

From here in Geistopia, this is your beloved Rev wishing you Peace, Love, Light and Freakishness, baby.

You can find Rev. Matt and WTML on Facebook. To ask about, or schedule, a Reiki session, Tarot reading or house cleansing contact Rev. Matt at Revgeist@gmail.com