Following Up

 

Sept. 19, 2011; 0904

My problem is I can never seem to write everything that is on my mind at one time. Not only does my mind jump from topic to topic to frequently, but, the simple fact of the matter is, I would write for days straight. LOL.

**UPDATE 2** I did forget to update, and it wouldn’t be right if I didn’t, the dinner situation last night. After everything was cleaned up and everyone had gone on their way, I was eventually invited to have the dish of food left on the stove.

I wrote yesterday:

It’s All Just Perspective

There is an area of my life where my perspective seems to be very different than that of those around me. Ok…more than one, but let’s just focus on this one for now.

It all revolves around my daughters.

Mama was upset that I had discussed a possible job with them without knowing, for certain, if I had it. She was upset because Princess Sunshine got upset because the job would have me on the road 8 days at a time.

My friend agreed with Mama on this point – the sensitivity of children and all that.

But, see, I shared it with them for that very reason – their sensitivity. In my experience with my daughters I find it takes them a while to fully process something. I could talk with them today and they can tell me they understand and in a week or two, sometimes more, they have a list of questions and possibly even concerns.

In a case like this, I felt it was better to discuss it with them, tell them how it would affect us – both positive and negative – and give them time to process it all. I figured this was better than getting the job and telling them, “Starting next week our lives are different.”

Another area, in relation to the girls, is work in general. I am limited as to the work I can take right now because of time with the girls. Now many would say that is not a good reason.

I completely disagree.

As Makayla and I have discussed, as they get older their lives will change. Their interests will become more varied, as will their activities. There will be birthday parties and sleepovers and school events – dances, football games, etc. – even dates. They will have less interest in their family and more interest in themselves and their friends. And, so they should.

From my perspective, I feel it is more important to spend the time with them now when they want it. Because as they get older and get into all of these other things it will be the time with daddy that is impacted. All of those things will take place on the weekends.

I am not upset about this. Well, I am..but not in an unhealthy way.

I just feel its important to give them the time now when they want it and need it most and perhaps in the future all of that can change.

The other thing I wanted to write last night and did not was a big thank you.

THANK YOU

to Berton and Jar-head & his dad, without whom I would not have been able to get the van back on the road. And, I am eternally grateful.

And, lastly, one more **UPDATE**

Mama is slowly coming around to the girls joining this club. She’s still not gung-ho about it, but she has simmered her tone and attitude and I believe everything will be fine.

As for me, I feel fine. I have a full schedule this week. 40+ hours (plus drive time.) And, next week looks to be about the same. After that I am not sure. But for now it is all good. And besides, who knows how things will change in two weeks.

I am looking to quite smoking this week. I have gone back and forth with this time and time again for a number of years. But, I think I finally have it within me to do it. There are currently 4 cigarettes left in my pack. I will finish them (and at the rate I’ve been smoking lately it will be very soon.) From there I plan on employing every device I can to move beyond them. I had thought for a moment that I was going to quit this past Friday but it was not to be so.

I don’t want to make a big deal of it. It is what it is. But I do believe it is time and I am ready. The cigarettes have been tasting less enjoyable. They annoy me more than they ease me. And, I struggle to understand my attachment to them or what I gain from them.

I had set my sights on this Friday to be the official date, trying to coincide with the Equinox and all, but I think I will set out on that path today.

So, for now, and for always from here in Geistopia, I am your beloved Rev wishing you Peace, Love, Light and Freakishness.