Welcome To My Life

Monday, July 29, 2013; 2215 So, what did today hold? A whole lot of the same as the past few weeks - nothing. Or, is that just how it seems? "Healing takes time." That was the message of a meditation period today. It was more of a shut down period really. Something along the lines of 2 hours, which is really unusual for me. It came on rather quickly and I went out heavy. In fact, I'm not certain that I ever really came back.  I've been feeling really off all day. In true fashion of the past several weeks, I awoke with a list of things to do and I accomplished Just Enough of it to feel at least somewhat accomplished. My head is foggy and my motivation low. Depression and frustration may be. Fair enough analysis, but I think it is something more than that. Perhaps it is the result of a culmination of wishes. That's a nice positive twist, but, personally, I'm still leaning towards a touch of depression. I think the greatest source of my frustrat...

Sunday, July 28, 2013; 1852 I don’t know. I just don’t know. I can’t tell you how many times over the past day or two that I have sat down and tried to type something out. There’s a block that I just cannot seem to get around. It seems this is an overall Theme in my life. There are lots of things I am trying to get done lately that I just can’t seem to make the right kind of dent in. However, with the other stuff, despite any blocks, I seem to make at least a bit of progress here and there. But I still don’t know what the block is – the resistance. Life has gotten….different than usual. (And, yet, oh so the same.) I am in such a holding pattern and, short of a miracle, I see no way out. Work dropped off a few weeks ago and just has not picked up. Even the ‘new’ job has seems to have stalemated. There is just nothing going on. It has left me in quite the pickle. Unfortunately, a great deal of my work relies on the old adage, “If you want to make money you’ve got to spend money.” ...

  Wednesday, July 24, 2013; 0828 Do I even need to mention it is a 10 day…which ultimately becomes a 1 day, depending on the system you may be using. “Be at peace and enjoy your thing.” How’s that for a message during a meditation. Of, course that could hold a couple of different interpretations depending on how your mind is geared. But, don’t worry folks – I enjoy my thing quite often. (How fun is it that I just now look down at the iHeart Radio app to see a group named Phoenix?) So, be at peace and enjoy your thing. ( Chuckles. ) That is my goal for today. I just want to be at peace and enjoy my thing. ( Chuckles a little harder. ) Perhaps we should change that to “ do your thing.” That may deter the giggles. Last night I struggled and stressed looking ahead at and for some work. I had actually been planning on going out today. That’s what I was planning. But, in the middle of it all something said to just stay home and do what needs to be done around here. Normally, I w...

  Tuesday, July 23, 2013; 1328. And….a 9 day!!! These are the words inscribed on the cover of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Don’t Panic I was actually just talking to the Princesses about these very words, this very notion. Panic clouds the mind. It clouds the whole system really. It clouds the mind because the brain scrambles, seeking reprieve and relief. It clouds the body by stressing it. it stresses when the brain cannot find the answer for which it is searching. But mostly, it clouds the Spirit. For, if the Mind and Body are clouded and strained how can the Spirit function at all? Yesterday I was panicking. We teach best what we most need to learn. It’s just so true. I was looking at my finances, at the little bit of gas I had, at the opportunities to generate or see cash flow and I just couldn’t find the answer I wanted. My main concern was the gas tank. I wasn’t starting out with much and I had a good deal of driving to do with very little resources with whi...

Monday, July 22, 2013; 1214 Hmm. What do we have going on there? A 22…and an 8. ( Snickers .) Well doesn’t that just pique my interest. So, it’s true. We teach best what we most need to learn. This is why I make such a good teacher – because I have so much to learn. There’s no denying that. I have my struggles. I have my mistakes and misperceptions. I merely just do the best I can to get through each day. It’s been quite some time since I have sat down to write, so let’s see if I can get a groove going. Oh…and for the record…no, I did not like using the Dragon software to do the blog. It just seemed to really mess with the flow of things. Anyway, I suppose if I am going to do it, I should do it right. Today I am not listening to iHeart Radio. Instead I am testing a different app on my phone – SoundTap. So, today I am listening to Post Progressive Disorder on 88.3 WCRT Pittsburgh, PA. Lesson of the Week – There is the Divine…and nothing else. This becomes this week’s lesson beca...

Saturday, July 13, 2013; 2233 Hey gang! What is goin’ on? It has been quite some time since I've been able to sit down and write. I can't even tell you the kind of days or weeks that I have been having. You will have to forgive me, I am trying to use Dragon dictation to write this post. It is quite an experience dictating instead of typing. I'm not exactly sure that I like it, but it seems to be working all right. It does free up my hands not that I know what I'd do with. Today was a rather rough day. It took me all day to get even the slightest bit motivated. This seems to be the theme of my entire week. In fact, it seems to be the theme for the past several weeks. I have a lot that I'd like to get done. It truly has been a day by day, step by step, process. I do have two posts that were started but left incomplete. I may, or may not, post them. So what exactly is it that I am here to say tonight? That is a question to which I do not have the answer. I'm not su...

Saturday, July 6, 2013; 1000 This Saturday Morning it is 'Perfect For:' July 4th Weekend; July 4th Weekend; Road Trip Radio. And no that is not an error. So...never another moment. This has been on my mind all week. It's one of those things we all know. But, do we really understand and appreciate it? Or, do we take it for granted? Do we realize that any given moment, every moment, is unique into itself. Never again in your life, or even in history, will there be another moment exactly like it. "The snowflakes of our Lives, no sooner caught, melting away." No matter what life is throwing at you, the moment is yours. It is yours to live through, experience, to do with as you wish. What you take away from the moment is determined solely by you. There is good and bad in everything - positives and negatives, rights and wrongs. What you remember will be the result from that on which you focus. But if you find that you are struggling sifting through and disce...

  Tuesday, July 2, 2013; 0704 It’s funny how it all goes. There was so much more to yesterday’s storytelling, but I was so discombobulated all day. It took me several hours just to get written what I did. I realize some of it was repeat from the past several days, but that is how it came out. So…before we go any further, This Tuesday Morning is ‘Perfect For:’ Writing; Lost in Thought; Trip the Breaker Radio ( Nothin’ like a lil trip-hop to start the day .) My problem is whenever I sit down at the computer I can think of 20 different things that could and should be done. So, of course, my ADD kicks in and I try to do everything at once. I want to try to recall all of the guides from this past week. I think it’s always important to acknowledge those who help us along. Let’s see how I do – Lion, Fox, Peacock, Crane, Eagle, Chimera, Griffin and St. Michael (though could be the Archangel as well.) The first thing I need to make not of is the obvious connection between the Chimera,...

  Monday, July 1, 2013; 0837 …It will deceive you every time. When I set out last Sunday night for the week that was ahead I had a set of goals to meet – financial goals.  As always, I had broken things down into levels or tiers. There is always the absolute minimum, the basics of what I need to accomplish. Then, of course, there is a goal I would like to see myself meet that is usually astronomically larger. And, then there are several steps in between. I took Monday to prepare and get myself ready to hit the road. At the worst I had hoped to make enough to cover bills due today. At best, I could have done much more. The path before me was not an easy one – 3 days on the road in familiar, but not comfortable areas. The work was there, but not guaranteed. But then, you all know how I feel about ‘guarantees.’ I wasn’t sure how it would all go or what would happen. I wasn’t even sure I would be able to get home when it was all said and done. I had a starting point and a di...