Bleh

Saturday, July 13, 2013; 2233

Hey gang! What is goin’ on? It has been quite some time since I've been able to sit down and write. I can't even tell you the kind of days or weeks that I have been having.

You will have to forgive me, I am trying to use Dragon dictation to write this post. It is quite an experience dictating instead of typing. I'm not exactly sure that I like it, but it seems to be working all right. It does free up my hands not that I know what I'd do with.

Today was a rather rough day. It took me all day to get even the slightest bit motivated. This seems to be the theme of my entire week. In fact, it seems to be the theme for the past several weeks. I have a lot that I'd like to get done. It truly has been a day by day, step by step, process.

I do have two posts that were started but left incomplete. I may, or may not, post them.

So what exactly is it that I am here to say tonight? That is a question to which I do not have the answer. I'm not sure that I, personally, have anything to say it all. But, it seemed time to make a post.

I feel as though I have been living in a void for several weeks. I couldn't even tell you how long exactly. Perhaps it goes as far back as the week before vacation. Things have been shifting and changing and always rearranging.

On Monday, I will be attending a class to start a new job. It is in a field that I truly know nothing about, but that doesn't seem to be a problem. I'm not exactly sure how it will all work out. For now, the arrangement is that I will be more of a backup going out on jobs when needed. I think this suits me fine because am not sure that I'm ready to make a major transition…yet.

When there is work, and I don't know how often that will be, the pay should be sufficient enough to make a difference, to give me a decent foothold. The job will require me to travel, which of course is fine by me. It will satisfy my curious nature and my strong desire to move about. It will also afford me the opportunity to pick up work I'm already doing in other places. In other words, more potential.

I cannot deny the timing of it all. I needed something new. I needed something challenging. I had asked for something that would pay me to travel about. This is what I received. Ask and ye shall receive.

I have to be honest, I'm really not in the mood tonight. The day was very rough from the very beginning. So many things went wrong. I'm feeling very mellow and I like I can't say I'm really at peace. I'm just kinda blah.

I've been feeling that way more and more each day. Oddly, I don't see it is a bad thing. It just is what it is (what it is what it is.) I've been having a great deal of heavy and intense dreamtime. Very vivid. Very graphic. Very odd.

I could go on and on describing the dreams that I've been having, telling of the people that have been in them. But, I'm not sure I have enough of a grip on them to tell those stories. They have been very real. And yet, almost surreal.

It fascinates me the way the mind works. The pieces it puts together and the stories it tries to tell us. My dreams of late have been a mixture of real-life things and a touch of the bazaar. I never mentioned it, but within the last few weeks I had a dream that I was getting married. Imagine that. Me getting married. Interestingly enough, once again, I could not see her face. They will not tell me who she is only that she is coming.

The question is am I ready to receive her.

I want to touch on briefly my finances of late. I have had some work but not a lot. Things have not gone the way I had planned a few weeks back. And though I am not making as much money as I would like each day I have the money that I need. News

even going into this next week I do not have a great deal of money but as far as I know I have the money I need to do what I need to do. Just Enough. Always just enough.

{Sigh.}

I think I am done with this for now. The groove just isn't there. It wasn't there to begin with and this whole dictation thing is really kinda putting a damper on what was there.

So for now I shall say farewell and perhaps tomorrow it will all go better.