A-Wake-Ning

 

Tuesday, October 8, 2013; 2034

It was another good day. I mean, as much as these days of late can be defined or described. They have been…odd. Different and, yet, so familiar.

I cannot stress enough how happy and content I am at the moment. It is a sense of peace. The magnitude of which I am not certain I have ever really experienced. Not just a sense of peace but a sense of self as well.

I also cannot stress that life is far from perfect. The new job brought with it some different advantages but it has the same possible disadvantages as well.

But, I’ve remembered recently that we are not to let such little things bother us.

If we believe (and even if we don’t), if we have faith, then certain things always hold true. Everything always happens for a reason. All things happen perfectly on time as well. We are forgiven before we foible. There are no curses, only blessings in disguise.

I have come to the conclusion that this current ‘hiatus’ from work is focused on getting things cleaned up and cleaned out. There must be functionality once more. Maybe I’m wrong. Perhaps I should be doing something different. There is always that chance.

There is always something else as well.

It’s a knowing. A sensation we experience. The more I do these things – clean up, organize and sort – the more I feel at peace and whole and complete. I become more comfortable and confident each day.

There are so many facets and faces to my life. And, though they all intermingle, each truly is a life of it’s own. Each needs its own space and ability to move, breathe and grow.

A Place for Everything & Everything in Its Place.

Perhaps that is this week’s Observation. For far too long I have been trying to run all of these things out of the same cramped spaces. I have been trying to take up as little space as possible…and tripping over myself in the process.

Of course, there are other factors and energies at play. (What You Resist Persists. What You Feed Energy Into Grows.) And I’m sure the list goes on and on.

As I have sorted through things and gotten them straightened out I have notice shifts – in perception and experience and attitude and abundance and flow and all sorts of things. I have seen parts of my self and my life resolved and resurrected.

I’m very productive of late. I am feeling healed, healthy and whole. It’s like all of a sudden a light has gone on and I have remembered who I am, what I do. And then the realization that all this time – too many years to count – I have not been that person. I have not been doing ‘it.’

There have been splashes and glimpses and traces. It’s been there, swirling around inside me. But, it hasn’t been fully alive. Lately it is as if a veil has been lifted and I suddenly see clearer – not only in the moment but on moments past. I’m not always happy with my ‘new vision’ of things. Many times, more than I care to admit even to myself, I have been like the complete opposite of who I know myself to be. Who I have learned myself to be.

This has been my ‘demon.’ (Perhaps even ‘daemon’ is appropriate here.)

I cannot change things in the past. No one can. I have been in a very deep state of regret and remorse for a very long time.

Regret I can deal with. It is a stepping stone, a building block. Where there is regret there is an opportunity to do it better the next time.

Remorse is much different. Remorse is heavier. It’s darker. Remorse leaves an eternal scar. Not at first, of course. You never see those things at first. At first, remorse is a grand experience. It is an awakening of sorts. We have remorse because we see what has transpired and we realize something is amiss. That we have erred grotesquely. It carries with it great power. As with any great power it can lift you up or drag you down. It is all in what you do with it.

If we revel in our remorse (conquer it), seek redemption where possible, and use it as an opportunity then we have grown. We have gained wisdom and power. However, if we give into it – if we see this darkness in ourselves and cannot forgive it – if we carry great guilts that we never balance or resolve, then we are doomed. Remorse swallows those souls whole. They become trapped in the mists and myths of who they now think they are.

But, lately, that has all seemed transmuted into…something else. Something just as powerful but more grand.

Lesson of the Week:

In Forgiveness There Is Redemption.

Could this be the ‘Christ’ of Old?

To this all I can say is…

A-M-E-N.

With that I am afraid I am speechless. I must go and revel now – ride this ‘Crazy Train’ on ‘Through to the Other Side.’

From here in Geistopia, this is your beloved Rev. wishing you Peace, Love, Light & Freakishness, baby!!