Zen-itate (good times, come on!)

 

Thursday, May 15, 2014 (9 Day)

2034 (1st Dark Hour)

Full Moon in Sagittarius

Feeling a bit restless. not sure what to do.

What I am going to do is pop a squat for a few moments and just Zenitate. Life is feeling very still at the moment and I think I would like to enjoy it.

(Not to mention there is an interesting Beasty traveling on the wind to night and I think I might wanna give him some focus.)

……….

2208

That was without a doubt the most excellent and rockinest Zenitation I have had in 14 years.

I was out there and it was very ‘Universal.’ I was just tapped in and connected to everything. I don’t even know that I have words for the experience. But I have been there before. It has been a long time and I have missed it.

Of course, back then I was very polluted and toxic. Did you ever notice that you don’t realize how lost you are until you find yourself?

That seems to make it sound more dramatic than it was.

I was a good person. I’ve always been a good person – just a little off from time to time. I was distracted by fear and doubt and insecurity and “need.” I didn’t realize until tonight just how much of my life, how many moments, those things have overshadowed.

So I have encountered what I call The Isaiah Syndrome.

When we place our focus on Divinity, we begin to see it in everything. We unveil the ‘Face of God’ and in it we see all of our own imperfections. In that moment we weep and mourn, if ever so briefly.

That is what I had.

In my Zenitation I traveled to and Fro throughout my life – looking in on people and places that have been. What a wonderful and glorious life it has been. There has been so much. I have been so many places, done so many things and known so many people. Each was unique and marvelous and a blessing.

And, I had no idea how to enjoy any to the fullest. For so long I didn’t really know what it means to be alive. To be here and exist and live and create. That didn’t start to come until about 16 years ago.

Of course, that is after my ‘death’ so I suppose that makes sense.

I remember how much I loved life then. How I reveled in everything. But I was afraid. I was unsure. I was still in that space. And, on top of that, I think the ‘death’ scarred me deeply. It took me a very, very, very….very long time to deal with and get over that experience. Perhaps, I should just say get over…cause I don’t think I’ve actually dealt with it lol.

Anyway, the revelry that was my life so long ago was dwarfed by the power and magnitude of tonight’s experience. (Would you believe there is a song playing on SoundTap right now…’My New Life.’)

In this cinematic ‘This is Your Life’ revue I saw so many friends – old and new. Some long lost. I blessed each and every one.

The same of loves. I say it all the time but, “Oh the women I have loved.” They have been the most spectacular array of beauty and charm and sensuality and…life.

And I blessed every single one.

I watched as the walls around me faded away and the world stood before me. I watched as The Christ cupped the world in his glowing hands. And then, I was the world. I was everywhere and everything. I was connected to all I had seen and those I had not. For just a moment – a ripple in time – I was jacked in. I had reached that Shamanic state, the one I love so.

I blessed my children and wished that they can grow up knowing just how fully they can live life. I am not talking about careers or educations or money or even family. I am talking about just living each blessed moment to its fullest potential.

See it.

Hear it.

Feel it.

Smell it.

Taste it.

Sense it.

Live it to the fullest. Take the risks. Believe.

If I can teach them nothing else in life may I teach them that.

I spent quite a bit of time in that state and I know a lot of images and thoughts passed through my mind. I couldn’t even keep up with them all. I was very content there and did not really want to come back.

But of all the other things I got from it this message probably intrigues me the most:

Everything up until now has been a preview. The real fun is just about to begin.

(Wait until tomorrow)

I put that last part in the ( ) because this is an ongoing thing with me and Divinity. I get that message a lot, “Wait until tomorrow.” So much, in fact, I have lodged several complaints regarding its overuse.

normally I would have just discounted it and not even mentioned it. However, tomorrow has actually been coming up quite a bit lately. Like…actual tomorrow, Friday.

There seems to be this…I don’t know if the word would be flow or draw…into tomorrow. As if everything that has been happening recently, perhaps everything that has ever happened, all comes to an apex in tomorrow.

All week long I have been feeling as if tomorrow changes things. Like, I am going through my week and I am preparing for my weekend and for my work week next week, but I can’t see past tomorrow.

It’s like now is the moment when the ‘adventure must be chosen’ (which I think just happened in the Zenitation) and tomorrow is the turn of the page.

What comes next?